


brb coffee

by Sekki



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Baristas, Fluff and Angst, Gamer AU - Freeform, Hugs, M/M, already sold my soul for this fic, jinson, markjae - Freeform, yugbam - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-03-13 23:09:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13580883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sekki/pseuds/Sekki
Summary: His eyes roamed to the clock one last time; 4:30am. He pressed his lips into a line, willing his patience to stay intact and his boredom to leave. As he moved back to behind the counter, readying himself to clean the counters for the sixth time, the soft sound of bells jingling echoed throughout the shop.((YugBam fic where Bambam really needs to go to sleep and stop gaming but instead he cheats the system and buys tons of coffee from cute barista Yugyeom <3))





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tags may be updated later on, and I'm sorry if uploading schedule is outta whack. 
> 
> The fic idea started as sort of a joke but now that it's developed, my soul has vanished out of existence...
> 
> enjoy~

The start of his day had become a rhythmic activity. Walking down the same street at the same time, the only lights coming from the same homes that dared to stay up late. The same streetlights would flicker, occasionally he would notice one light that had died and would be later replaced that week with a similarly faulty bulb. His boss said the same things in the morning, walked the same way, gave him the same instructions. It got to the point where he didn’t even need instructions, he was able to just do it without a word.

His name was Yugyeom, a young adult that had found part time, and then full time work as a barista in a quaint coffee shop. It was currently only his boss and himself that worked there, the hunt for casuals was still occurring.

On this particular morning, nothing was immediately different either. His boss stopped in front of the door and unlocked it, the familiar click of lock and key was the only sound in the silent streets. He struggled slightly with retrieving his key again, a quiet curse under his breath became an interaction between inanimate and living. The door swung open without a creak, Yugyeom had prided himself on keeping the hinges well-oiled, and the boss had noticed. It did jingle ever so gently though, with the bells above the door being the only sign of an entrance.

Inside, chairs sat on top of tables, illuminated only by a security system and select pieces of machinery. The boss turned and nodded to Yugyeom, before stalking off into his office to set up for the day.

It was at this point in the morning that Yugyeom would feel a pang of loneliness as he stood in the dark shop, his ears fine tuned to hear slight disturbances caused by insects or machines. It would dispel instantly as the lights flickered on, casting everything into a warm yellow hue.

He waited a moment to better adjust his eyes, before moving about and settling all the chairs into their proper positions. The simple task came to an end, and he found his eyes wandering to the clock.

_1:10am._

Only ten minutes had passed- he didn’t know why he was surprised. They didn’t get any customers until about 7am, and then the steady trickle would start until about 10am when a rush would send the shop into a flurry. It would quieten down again and settle into silence as the time approached 1pm, closing time. Yugyeom liked working whether there were people in store or not, but it could get a bit tedious without anyone to talk to. At times he would even catch himself talking to packets of sugar in an attempt to receive a conversation.

He made his way behind the counter, his eyes taking one last opportunity to study the store. It was only a very small area, decorated by bits of green above small, box-like windows. Every part of the store bragged an oak décor, splattered in off white or kept the natural brown. Behind the counter, the world swapped suddenly to become modern, with pristine steel machines lining the benches. The only mix between old and new was the fridge to store baked goods, which had a glass display lined with steel but otherwise made of wood.

Yugyeom took as much pride in the shop as his boss did. He polished the machines up to three times a day, and was out to clean up tables as soon as there was a lack of business. He enjoyed both cleaning up and serving customers. Serving was probably his favourite part though, he got to talk to many people that he otherwise would’ve never met.

He stopped himself from being distracted anymore, his fingers deftly reaching for the same apron he wore daily. It was white fabric, lined with green trimmings and decorated only by the store’s logo on the breast; a smiling takeout coffee cup.

Yugyeom took his time to tie the straps at the back, deliberate in each of his actions to make it as tight as possible, but also breathable. He pulled the collar of his shirt out from under the shoulder straps and tied the only other part of his uniform, a miniature black tie, beneath the collar. He picked up a spoon and checked how the uniform looked to make sure he wasn’t missing something. It was pretty much perfect, bar a few creases that he would need to iron out to change. He rose the spoon to his face, checking nothing was in his teeth, checking that his hair was flat and neat.

He wasn’t necessarily vain, he just wanted to present the best image of the shop that he could. Having a messy and boring employee would reflect on their work ethic and would in turn affect the customer experience. So, even if he was in a bad mood, he tried his best to stay happy and organised for his job.

Again, he caught himself gazing at the clock; _1:30am._

He didn’t really have much to do, everything was clean from yesterday. That was the one thing Yugyeom disliked about his organisation, it made him bored in the mornings. With a sigh, he roamed around behind the counter. It wouldn’t hurt to double check everything… an idea popped into his head. He would make his boss a coffee to test that everything was working. That would take up some time.

He hummed quietly to himself as he went about his new task, the familiar whirring as the machine started up bringing a very subtle smile to his face. A moment later, and the smell of fresh coffee was drifting about the shop. His hands worked quickly and with experience, he already knew what his boss liked so there was no need to take the time to ask him.

It only took a few moments, and then he was knocking on the office door and placing the coffee onto his boss’s desk. He received a quick thank you- so far the highlight of his day- before he went back to having no purpose.

Yugyeom went and wiped tables, then went back and wiped them again. He double checked the cups, and restacked things that were slightly messy. Anything that was even slightly off-centre became a task that would consume a couple of minutes, until he moved them to be practically perfect.

His eyes roamed to the clock one last time; _4:30am._ He pressed his lips into a line, willing his patience to stay intact and his boredom to leave. As he moved back to behind the counter, readying himself to clean the counters for the sixth time, the soft sound of bells jingling echoed throughout the shop.

He looked up, his heart jumping at the thought of some conversation. It was only one man that entered. His clothes were creased and his hair was mussed to the point where it looked like he had just woken up. As he approached the counter, Yugyeom could make out the obvious black circles beneath his eyes, and his pale skin tone.

He caught himself smiling at the sight of the stranger’s appearance, after a morning of organisation and cleanliness, a man as messy as this was able to walk in carelessly. Perhaps that was the beauty of their coffee shop.

“Good morning, how can I help you?” Yugyeom’s voice was warm and welcoming, contrasting the stranger’s appearance beautifully.  
“Hi. Uhm- good morning, I mean,” he seemed genuinely confused at the time, “can I get an espresso… with extra… express- actually can I have two? No wait, three? Actually, four is a good number…” He counted on his fingers.

Yugyeom scribbled out the old order each time, and finally had a bit of paper coloured with ink and an eventual ‘espresso x4.’

“Is that all for today?” He asked, looking up from the notepad.  
The man looked around, his eyes settling on the fridge. Yugyeom could practically see a sparkle as they landed on one of the most popular and sugary goods they had in stock. It was like a donut sandwich, a filling of cream and jam squished into the centre.  
“I’ll take two of those as well. Thank you. Oh- and for takeout too, thanks.” He smiled faintly.

Yugyeom nodded, allowing him to pay. “Please take a seat then. It won’t take too long at all.”

His eyes followed the man as he took a cautious seat by one of the tables- his eyes glazed- Yugyeom was starting to wonder whether anyone was even alive behind that stare. He turned away from him, being assigned a new task.

He fell into the same melodic rhythm, his hands working delicately to create the beverages, to a point where it was in slow motion but also at a fast pace. It was hard to accurately describe. He pinned the lids onto the takeout cups, feeling a smile grace his face as the satisfying noise of lid and cup clicked together.

Afterwards, he moved to the fridge and placed the donuts into two separate brown paper bags, completing the order with a professional speed. It didn’t seem to be fast enough however; the stranger had already fallen asleep on the table.

Yugyeom took this moment of peace to study him. He was a strange character- his hair was dyed in an odd shade that resembled what could only be described as strawberry milk-ish. Maybe Yugyeom was childish to see it in that way, but he couldn’t think of any other way. His eyes briefly roamed the rest of the stranger’s features, which was a long enough period of time to determine that he was indeed somewhat cute.

He hummed to himself, almost like a tut, and took the order in a neat tray over to the table. He shook the man gently, relieved that it didn’t take much to wake him.  
“Oh- done already…” the man stared at Yugyeom for a long moment, then snapped out of it. He placed his hand on the tray and went to take it from the barista, but he still had a tight grip on it.

The man looked up at him in confusion.  
“I don’t mean to sound rude but,” Yugyeom nodded slightly, as if reassuring himself, “make sure you get some sleep too… your body needs it to stay healthy.” The stranger studied him for a second, a million thoughts colliding in his exhausted mind. He tried to process it for a minute, but gave up.   
“T-thanks.”

He said only that and left quickly, Yugyeom watched him go with pursed lips.

\--

The clock struck 7am and Bambam was struggling to tell the keys of his computer apart anymore. The game had blurred about three hours ago, and he felt like he had been staring at a pixelated artwork ever since.  
“theangriestkitten, come mid.” His voice was a monotonous, barely functioning machine that he used sparingly.  
“Roger that, ninety$$$even.” His gaming friend and house mate, Youngjae, was quick to reply. Somehow, Youngjae was surviving better than Bambam on this occasion, with less help from caffeine.

Together, they were members of a professional e-sports team. They shared a house with each other since they seemed to bond better with one another rather than the rest of their members. They played until ungodly hours in the morning, and at times stayed up past midday. Today wouldn’t be one of those days, however, Bambam was just about at his breaking point.

A slight distraction, the creaking of a door, interrupted Bambam’s concentration.  
“Youngjae,” a whiny voice followed the initial noise, “you’re still on that thing? Get off… you need to go to bed.”  
“Mark, I’m in a game. I’ll go after.” Youngjae replied, the excitement in his voice pleaded differently about needing to go to bed.

Mark was Youngjae’s boyfriend, though it seemed to be something a little more than just dating. They had been together for several years, and Mark had eventually moved in with them. He worked, of course, a boring job that Bambam always forgot about. It was in accounting… or maybe not. Youngjae had told him countless times that he didn’t need to work, due to championship prize pools being so large, yet Mark insisted on a normal job to keep himself busy.

“Youngjae, do I need to repeat myself?” Mark sauntered over to the gaming desk, his voice itching with frustration.  
His partner said nothing, and for a moment the only sound that fluttered throughout was the soothing noise of clicks and keys.  
“Choi Youngjae, get off that damn computer and get to bed.” He eventually snapped, which was met by a scared flinch from Youngjae.  
“But Bambam bought me some really strong coffee, I wouldn’t be able to-“

Mark reached for the half full coffee cup, and downed it steadily, pressing the empty cup down once finished.  
“He bought you half a strong coffee,” he corrected, “so you’ll be fine to sleep. You’ll be off that thing in 3-“  
“Mark wait, please, I said-“  
“2-“  
“No, no wait…”  
“1-“  
“WAIT-“

There was a yelp and then a yelling Youngjae was being carted from the room, his feet dragging intensely across the carpet. The noise died instantly as soon as Mark had transported him to their bedroom and slammed the door.

Bambam spent the rest of his focus trying to win a 4v5 game, and let out a long sigh once it was completed. His eyes fell to the coffee cup, locking onto the bold ‘1’ that had been scribbled onto the side of it. He tilted his head, the 1 was turning into some sort of an animal. Not good. The coffee and food had been worthwhile though, he would need to go back again. It’s not like service was bad either… he would’ve thought further about the barista, but barely had enough energy to stand at that point.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late- sorry! Another apology in advance for how early the angst is starting... I hope you enjoy it though.
> 
> Thanks for reading <:

The start of the day came with a fresh victory; a fresh set of unenthusiastic cheering from two mouths, before the queue restarted. It was cancelled before long as Youngjae let out a momentary yawn and glanced over at Bambam.

“Are you getting some coffee soon?” He asked, his voice hinting at the fact that it was more of a ‘you should get coffee soon’ rather than a question.  
Bambam paused for a moment, instinctively going to say no just to taunt his friend, but then seriously thought about it. Coffee meant going to the café, and going to the café meant… Yugyeom. The cute barista who he had somehow gotten close to through memorising his timetable and visiting nearly daily.   
“Hm.. yeah. I could do with a coffee,” he faked a yawn, “I’ll go get some.”

His display yawn turned into a real one and Youngjae grinned.  
“You even had a nap today, why are you tired already? I could go for like… 7 more hours.”  
“Oh? You don’t want coffee then?”  
Youngjae’s eyes widened and he hurried to correct himself. “I meant, 7 hours, with coffee. An espresso. Maybe two..”  
“One. You get one.” Bambam cut him off, blankly.  
“Fine. Mark would kill me anyway if I had two.” As if paranoid, he turned slightly to direction of his bedroom.  
“Mark wouldn’t know if you drank them quickly.” Bambam pointed out, glancing down at the time on his computer. He cursed slightly.

He grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and left the office with a hurried goodbye. His normal arrival time was around 4:30 and it was already 4:27 so he didn’t want Yugyeom to worry about him.

They lived in an apartment on the second floor, just above another, so he moved down the stairs with a caution that was rarely replicated. Even once on the driveway and slightly out on the street, his footsteps were slow and deliberate. They had been kicked out of their previous apartment for ‘loud noises at early hours’, so he had to be careful in their new neighbourhood.

He felt his calm conscience come back to him once well onto the sidewalk, and he sped up his steps to make sure he got to Yugyeom quicker. It had been about three weeks since his first visit, and he had visited nearly every day at the same time since then. There were a few times where he couldn’t make it because they had an early night, but he had been sure to always apologise for those the next day.

Yugyeom was what Bambam would consider a good friend, even though they only had minor chats that the gamer easily forgot within 5 minutes. He was polite enough to forgive Bambam every time, and some days he would even scold him for his late bed time. It felt refreshing to have care from someone in his life that wasn’t his mother.

He arrived at the front of the café, and peered into one of the many windows before entering. A small smile touched his lips as the sight of the black-haired barista came into view. Bambam was less tired than usual, thanks to a midday nap, and so he started to notice things that he hadn’t necessarily paid attention to before.

He found himself studying the manner in which Yugyeom cleaned the counter; the circular motion of the cloth, the way his arm would tense ever so slightly if there was a mark that required scrubbing. He watched the barista stop momentarily and glance over at the clock. Perhaps it was the lighting, or Bambam’s imagination, but he could’ve sworn that there was longing in those eyes. Longing for Bambam’s daily coffee visit? No, that was probably stupid.

He shook his head and finally went inside, his ears tuning into the bell chime that signified entrance.

His eyes went immediately to Yugyeom; it was hard to look elsewhere, and Yugyeom’s eyes instantly went to Bambam. The barista visibly lit up, his glossy and tired eyes sparking into embers of interest. Even his posture changed, the height becoming dauntingly apparent as he stood up straight. Though, it wasn’t daunting to Bambam- it was cool.

“Hello, how are you?” His voice sung out across the shop, and Bambam nodded politely.  
“I’m good, and you?”  
Yugyeom smiled softly. He studied the man before replying; the man who was normally daggy and messy and all sorts of bad was actually quite the opposite today. His jacket wasn’t extremely crumpled, and his strange-coloured hair was neat and flat. Even his eyes seemed brighter, as if he knew what was happening around him. He was attractive.  
“Great, now that you’re here,” Yugyeom’s eyes widened, “I meant- as a customer. I am grateful for how often you buy from us.” He seemed flustered.  
“We’re friends, no need to be so formal. I enjoy seeing you too.” He grinned, which only served to further unsettle Yugyeom.   
The barista turned to the register, glanced up at Bambam, back down again and then released a pent-up breath. “Are you having the usual today?”   
His customer nodded, and Yugyeom was grateful for the chance to distract himself with a task.  
“You don’t seem as tired today.” He commented, reaching for the switch to turn a machine on.  
Bambam rested on the counter, so that he was leaning forward slightly. “I’m still tired, just not braindead. It is the life of a gamer.” He stated dramatically, causing Yugyeom to glance over at him curiously.

It was kind of cool that the barista could be multitask so easily.

“A gamer? Oh, you were telling me about that before, right?”  
Bambam nodded enthusiastically, leaning forward just a tad more subconsciously. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, so basically… I play in tournaments and stuff and get money for being good at a game. My housemate, Youngjae, and I, are in the same team so we play together and practice. I’m a jungler, and he’s a top laner. We often queue until eight-ish in the morning, so your coffee is always handy.”  
Yugyeom tried to process the words as he worked, but they didn’t make much sense. What was ‘a jungler’? How did they ‘queue’? Did they have to line up for something?

“O-Oh, I see.” He spoke as if understanding it. He wanted Bambam to continue; he had never seen him this talkative before.

The man carried on as Yugyeom had wanted him too, and the fact that Bambam was so distracted made it easier for Yugyeom to seem like he was carefully preparing things the whole time. In reality, the barista had stirred the same coffee cup about twenty more times than he normally did, just to make the conversation last. Eventually, he had to hand the order over, and Bambam grinned at him as he took the cardboard tray.

“Thank you.”   
“No problem. Thank you for coming here all the time and providing interesting conversation.” Yugyeom returned the smile.  
Bambam rose an eyebrow. “It’s what friends do, come on. I told you before, no need to be so formal.”

Yugyeom stared at him wide-eyed for a moment and Bambam laughed.  
“See you tomorrow then.” The gamer bowed his head and left, the barista watching after him still.  
‘Friends’ was a term that Yugyeom didn’t use lightly. Was Bambam not afraid of Yugyeom’s height, or was he perhaps just so lonely that he wasn’t picky about whom he spent time with? The barista pressed his lips together and sighed; it wouldn’t do much to think too hard about it.

\--

Yugyeom’s eyes went to the door, the key seemed to make too much noise as it slotted into the lock. He pushed it open and entered with a sigh. The brightness of a Summer day gave way to their home’s dim interior. He stood in the doorway for a moment, then snapped out of his thoughtful daze to shut it behind himself; his boyfriend disliked bugs getting inside.

His boyfriend disliked a lot of things.

“I’m home.” The barista called out, removing his shoes and replacing them with slippers as he stepped onto the carpet.  
There was no response for a moment, only muffled laughter. Yugyeom stood still and tried to figure out what was happening but before long, the laundry door opened and his boyfriend walked out.

A phone was pressed into his ear while a smile lit up his face and danced in his eyes. His attention turned to Yugyeom as he noticed him, and the glitter seemed to vanish. He seemed suddenly annoyed.  
“Yugyeom just got home, I’ll see you later.” There was a pause. “Yes, yes, goodbye.”

The man hung up and glanced over to where the barista stood, frozen.  
“How was work?” He asked, the tone that had been so excited only moments before dropped as he started to address his boyfriend.  
The barista smiled, breaking the eye contact and roaming to the kitchen. “Good. How was your day?”  
Her received a shrug in reply, so he didn’t push it.

There was a silence between them, one that was common for their fractured relationship.  
“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?” The barista finally asked, sliding his wallet and phone onto the counter.  
His boyfriend raised an eyebrow. “I can’t tonight, I’ve got other plans.”  
Yugyeom nodded hurriedly. “Ah that’s okay. Where are you going?”

His voice was casual, and he walked away from the man to get to the fridge.   
“I’m going to Jackson’s place. Just relaxing with him for a bit.”  
Yugyeom bit the inside of his cheek, feeling a metallic taste in return. Relaxing always went further than relaxing, and there was always the intention for it to go further than relaxing. He couldn’t do much to stop that though; Jinyoung was happy around the other man.  
“Oh, okay.” He grabbed a can of soft drink, and then shut the fridge.   
“You can always call me if you need me. Or need anything for that matter.” The man appeared at the kitchen counter, his arms crossed.

Yugyeom smiled faintly, trying to ignore how his heart sank. How could he be hated by his boyfriend to the extent where conversations became tiresome?

“Thanks, Jinyoung. You’ll probably want to get going as soon as possible, right? You can leave now, I don’t mind.” His voice was gentle, contrasting the anger and sadness that was raging like a storm in his head.   
He thought he saw something flicker behind his boyfriend’s eyes, a flash of relief, but he was likely mistaken. “Okay then. Have a good night.”

He disappeared into the laundry and then reappeared with a large bag. Without a second glance at Yugyeom, he was out of the house.

The barista’s eyes clung to the front door, until they couldn’t because it was too blurry. Though, why was the door blurry? Yugyeom’s fingers rose shakily to his cheeks, the tips becoming damp with tears. Why was he so useless? Why could he never please anyone?

There was a period where time stood still, before the can of drink went flying into a wall, and a cry of agony tore through the home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness as usual... to make up for myself, the chapter is really damn long so ~\OoO/~
> 
> Apologies in advance to:  
> -All the angst haters  
> -All the Jinyoung stans (I really appreciate and love Jinyoung to bits, I'm so sorry that he is the 'villain' of this fic)  
> -JB stans: he isn't even mentioned yet, he'll arrive fashionably late I'll assume 
> 
> Enjoy reading, as always :D

Another week passed. Another week of agonising over Jinyoung, another week of greeting customers with fake smiles. Bambam seemed to visit less, and when he did visit, he was too tired to properly converse with. Yugyeom’s one ‘friend’ was likely too busy practicing for an upcoming tournament, so the barista told himself that it was selfish to hope for daily visits.  It was probably selfish to hope for anything at this point- Yugyeom was growing tired with mostly everything, he was slowly becoming hollow.

He found his eyes glued to the clock- 7:00am, Bambam would not be coming today. Why did he feel so sad about that? He had asked himself whether they were truly friends or perhaps if it was another one-sided relationship where Bambam didn’t really consider them as close friends.

He looked around the shop which was littered with groups of customers, but not too busy as most people came for takeout drinks. The bells jingled, drawing Yugyeom’s attention to the person entering. He seemed fairly average- brown hair that was slicked back to be professional, a white button up shirt with matching black trousers and black tie. His sleeves were rolled up, which Yugyeom found peculiar, but he didn’t find much else notable. He supposed that the man would be attractive if Yugyeom was actually looking at that side of his person.

“Welcome, how can I help you?” The barista’s voice carried across to the new customer, who was studying the menu with a delicate gaze. He smiled as Yugyeom spoke.  
“Good morning. Can I just get a flat white? Oh- I’ve got this with me too-“ He pulled out a discount card and handed it to the barista.  
Yugyeom took it, his eyes widening slightly as he went to check a box. “This is… Bambam’s card, right?” He looked up, and the man nodded. The barista could tell because he always marked the boxes on the gamer’s card with a red pen rather than the normal black one. He also drew little love hearts instead of crosses; Bambam always liked the small details.  
“I live with him. He doesn’t stop talking about this coffee shop and recommending everything even though he’s only ever bought one type of coffee from this place. He told me to take his card because the barista,” the man tilted his head slightly, “Yugyeom, would recognise it?”   
He nodded wordlessly and the stranger smiled.   
“Well it’s nice to meet Bambam’s friend. I’m Mark.” He held his hand out, and Yugyeom shook it with a polite smile.  
“You live with him?” Yugyeom asked curiously, to which Mark sighed as a reply.  
“Unfortunately. My boyfriend is his gaming buddy so I’m the only one in the house who works outside of home. I don’t mind it though, they keep themselves busy with what they enjoy.” He smiled faintly before a subtle gesture, but the man glanced down at his watch; enough to refocus the barista.  
“Oh- sorry. For the flat white it’s… $4.50.” He held his hand out for the change that Mark had already prepared.

He dropped three coins into Yugyeom’s outstretched hand, one slipping from his slightly parted fingers. It rolled off the counter and dropped on to the floor, causing Mark to let out a noise of surprise. He bent down to pick it up by instinct, then straightened back up to give it to Yugyeom again.

Mark’s eyes widened. In the period that it had taken him to bend down and straighten up again, Yugyeom had started to cry. It wasn’t loud, it was silent and he seemed frozen.  

Mark slid the coin onto the counter, “Are you okay?”  
The barista dropped his head. “Yes. I’m fine.” His voice was much louder than it needed to be, customers looked up with curious eyes.

Mark could’ve sworn the boss even glanced through his blinds in his office, but it might’ve been his eyes misjudging.

“Do you need something? You don’t need to worry about my coffee… you can just have a break?”  
Yugyeom turned around, shaking his head. “No- no, I’m fine. I’ll get this for you.” He pressed his palms into his eyes, sniffing to try and clear his nose again.

Once his face was somewhat dry, he sanitised his hands and hurried to make Mark’s drink. The other man watched him closely, feeling sympathetic and slightly helpless. Yugyeom dropped the empty cup about three times before he got it into the machine, and then proceeded to spin around aimlessly as he looked for the ingredient he needed.

When he somehow finished, he handed it to Mark with as much caution as he could muster. He also handed back the money.  
“It’s going to be bad. I’d be robbing you if I took this.” Yugyeom bowed his head as an apology.  
“What? I can’t do that…”  
“Please. Take it free, I’ll pay for it myself,” he paused with a thought, “please don’t tell Bambam either. He’ll worry when he doesn’t need to.”

Mark hesitantly nodded and then gave a weak smile. “Hang in there, Yugyeom.”

He’d tell Bambam. He didn’t want Yugyeom to be left upset without anyone to talk to.

\--

Two days passed. Two more days that were barely acknowledged by a blurry-eyed Bambam, two more days that were numb to the struggling Yugyeom. It was on the morning of the third day that Bambam emerged from his room with a yawn.

Youngjae sat on a barstool at the island in the kitchen, talking to Mark who was cooking something. They looked over as his door squeaked open and Mark lit up.  
“Morning, Bambam- oh wait, good afternoon.” He smiled nervously, compared to Youngjae who simply raised his hand as a wave.  
“Mm. Afternoon.” The man lumbered over to the second barstool and sat down, slouching as he rested his cheek on the cold counter.

He spent a few moments trying to wake up, squinting and blinking several times to try and refresh his senses. When he did, he sat back up properly, staring at Mark blankly.

“You’re home.”  
“Yes.”  
Bambam’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not meant to be home.”  
“Correct.” Mark smiled at him as the gamer turned to his friend with a silent question in his eyes.  
“It’s a public holiday apparently.” Youngjae said with a shrug.

Youngjae glanced back at his boyfriend, then leaned over the counter and stuck his finger into the cake mix. Before he could pull it back, Mark grabbed his finger, and their eyes locked in a battle.  
“No. Raw eggs.” Mark stated sharply.  
“Please, it never actually hurt anybody… just this?” Youngjae pouted and his boyfriend sighed, releasing his finger.

He popped it into his mouth and grinned. The other two watched him curiously, as he pulled his hand back.   
“It’s good- Mark, try some.” Youngjae leaned forward on his elbows, his sparkling eyes falling to the bowl of cake mix.   
“Alright.” He sounded confident. He flicked his unsuspecting boyfriend’s chin up, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

Youngjae flushed red, his mannerisms changing to hide his embarrassment.  
“You two are gross.” Bambam fakely vomited.

Mark stuck his tongue out and turned to pour the mixture into a tray, while his boyfriend still sat slightly shocked.   
“Oh- Bambam, I meant to tell you the other day. I meant to tell you many times, actually.” He slid the tray into the oven, removing his mittens and turning to the other.  
“Yeah?”  
“When I went to get coffee like… two days ago… your barista friend seemed a little upset.” Mark phrased it carefully.  
“Upset?” Bambam’s brows furrowed.  
“Uh- do you know why he might be that way?” Mark pursed his lips, frowning slightly.

Bambam straightened up- his dreariness fading quickly.  
“No… how upset are we talking?” His eyes went to the time- 12:40pm.

He swung off his chair and started to move to his room as Mark replied.  
“Like… the verge of tears…”

Bambam heard no more, he was throwing on whatever clothes that he could find. He pulled his shirt on backwards but didn’t think he had enough time to fix it, so threw a jumper on top of it instead. He raced back out into the kitchen, finding his way to the front door and pulling it open.

“Bambam, is the shop open on public holidays?” Mark called the question quickly, but it was too late.

The gamer bounced down the stairs, nearly tripping due to his untied shoelaces. The path seemed daunting, like a reflection of his thoughts as his pace started slow. Surely it wouldn’t be that bad; Yugyeom was mostly happy, he might’ve even just been having a bad day. He kept his head down, lost in thought.

What if it wasn’t a bad day though? His pace picked up. Would Yugyeom even be at the café? What if he was dead… and now he was running. Yugyeom wasn’t dead, but what if he was considering it? What kind of friend would he be then?

Why are you unhappy, Yugyeom? Who made you feel that way?

He skidded to a stop outside of the coffee shop. Familiar sights blended into one as his spotty vision clouded any judgement. He barely moved off of his office chair- walking to the coffee shop at a slow pace was the maximum exercise he ever got. Maybe he was about to pass out…

He went inside, earning a few quizzical glances from customers. His eyes stopped on the register, then on the cashier. Then on the barista. Then on Yugyeom. He clutched the door frame with heavy breaths, before standing up properly and approaching the counter.

Yugyeom’s gaze drifted to Bambam, a small smile forming on his face that was quickly replaced with a curious half smile.  
“Hello. You’re here late today.” Yugyeom’s voice was steady, vaguely interested on why his friend was here.  
“Yes- Yugyeom, are you okay?”

The barista’s smile slowly vanished with a nervous laugh, it was ten minutes before closing time and his boss had started to emerge from his office to help clean up.

“I’m fine, why do you ask?” Yugyeom spoke in a hushed voice, giving his boss a reassuring smile.  
“Mark told me. I don’t think you’re okay. Come on, you only have a few minutes left of your shift, right? We can go somewhere and talk…”

Bambam’s voice was louder than Yugyeom wanted it to be, the boss could recognise something was wrong, and a few customers had even caught onto it. He didn’t really know what to say: could he really tell Bambam about his problems with Jinyoung? What would that even do for him?

  
“I-I can’t… really.” Yugyeom struggled, finally breaking eye contact with his friend.  
“Yes, you can. Come on, I’ll wait until you’re finished then we can go somewhere, okay?” Bambam looked over as his boss approached the barista behind the counter.  
“Yugyeom, you can just leave early today. It shouldn’t be too much work since we weren’t that busy, you just go and enjoy yourself.” He gave Yugyeom a light pat on the shoulder.

There was a moment where the two friends stared at each other, before Yugyeom hesitantly untied his apron and emerged from the counter.

\--

It felt somehow refreshing to be sharing food with Bambam, to talk about pointless things until the deeper topics were brought up. Bambam’s reactions were always interesting and genuine, it made Yugyeom feel… something.

They had gone to a fast food restaurant, much to Yugyeom’s dismay. He wasn’t one to eat greasy food, and he didn’t support the wastage that fast food products created. A straw for a drink with a plastic top, cardboard to carry more plastic and cardboard with. He hadn’t protested though, and even now, caught himself eating pure oil and fat. He didn’t mind too much though, it was Bambam’s choice and he wanted to be a supportive/non-argumentative type of friend.

“So, he’s cheating on you, and you know this, but you still stick around? That’s messed up.” Bambam reached for a few fries, which Yugyeom had left untouched.  
“I don’t know. The main reason I stay is because… well, I have nowhere else to go. I don’t want to be homeless.” He watched his friend carefully, who was watching him with the same intent while groping around for food on his tray.   
“Not true, you can come live with us. You have a job so you can pay a quarter of the rent and- I never stay in my room so you can just have my room. It’s easy, and then you don’t have to put up with that asshole.”

It did sound nice. To be able to finally leave the person who had been tormenting him for ages, but if he moved in with Bambam, there was always the possibility of being a burden. Plus, he didn’t fully know the gamer, nor did the gamer fully know him. What if they ended up hating each other, or had a big disagreement on a major topic? He had a feeling that it wouldn’t end up like that, but there was always a possibility.

“I wouldn’t be able to do that. I don’t know your other housemates either… they might hate me.”  
Bambam rapidly shook his head. “You’ve met Mark-“ a bite from his burger, “-and Younfjae ith tha shweetest fing…”  
“Chew, chew first. Then swallow, then talk.” Yugyeom laughed, a smile crossing his face.

Bambam hurried to chew the food, deliberating staring at the table to try and focus on that one task. Once he did, he let out a massive sigh and reached for his drink.  
“As I was saying. You’ve met Mark- business man with a foreign accent and a lean face, yeah. And you wouldn’t need to worry about Youngjae, he is the most accepting and rarely critical person you’ll ever meet. Come on, I don’t want you to be living with someone that is making you depressed.” Bambam’s encouragement was hard to refuse, especially when he was leaning forward with a pouty face and eyes.  
“We could always do a trial…” Yugyeom murmured.   
“Yes! A trial. Yes, if you don’t like it, you can move back out! Except- where would you go then… ah- who cares. You’ll like it. You won’t even need a trial. Come on, come on, let’s go to your house and get your stuff.” Bambam was already pushing himself out of the little booth.  
“Wait, right now? Like, today?” Yugyeom hurried to rush after him.  
“Yeah, when else?”

They travelled to Yugyeom’s apartment by bus, as Yugyeom did not own a car. The bus was much more convenient and had less of a detrimental impact on the environment than a car did. The ride was much different to normal, Yugyeom normally listened to music and looked out the window as the same scenery passed. This time, he watched Bambam play a game on his phone, while giving him the rundown on what different characters did and what to build and just generally how to play. Of course, Yugyeom understood less than 30% of the slang, but he found it nice to listen to something that Bambam was genuinely interested in.

When they arrived at his home, Bambam was bouncing around before Yugyeom had even opened the door. Then when he had, Bambam was looking around curiously- after asking of course. Yugyeom gave him a tour, explaining the separate rooms and the fact that Jinyoung had moved out of Yugyeom’s room fairly recently. He hadn’t actually been into Jinyoung’s new room.

“This one is yours?” Bambam’s head peeked around the door frame as Yuygeom pushed open the door.  
“Yes. Sorry it’s so dark. I’m normally working every day so I don’t have much use in leaving curtains open and cleaning up.” He flicked the light on and stepped inside, inviting his friend to do the same.

His room was very plain and although he thought it was messy, it was reasonably neat. He had a bookshelf stuffed in the corner filled with old comic and cook books, beside a desk that was empty except for a small and practically unusable laptop sitting on top of it. He had a basket for dirty laundry in the other corner, a double bed that didn’t seem long enough for his height and a single bedside table with an alarm clock perched neatly on the edge.

“This is bigger than my room.” Bambam observed.  
“Really? What do you even have in your room?”  
“Oh- it might not be bigger. I don’t really remember the size of it all too well. I just have a bed and a dusty bookcase. That’s about it- oh and a cupboard for clothes but...” His thoughts darted back to the afternoon. The cupboard would be a mess by now.

There was light conversation as Yugyeom collected a few boxes and they started to pack up things together. There was excitement bubbling in his chest, but also a hint of fear. Fear at leaving something that was so familiar to him, and fear at Jinyoung’s reaction. Bambam made an audible noise every time he picked up a comic book that he had read, and would flip through it briefly before placing it carefully in the box. Yugyeom packed up his few clothes, a few memorabilia that he had collected throughout the years, and then they were very close to done. He didn’t have many belongings to begin with anyway.

As it came to a close, and the time edged on to 5pm, Jinyoung finally arrived home. Yugyeom didn’t seem to fully register the sound of the front door opening and closing, and then the shuffle of feet on the carpet. Bambam had, of course, and glanced over at Yugyeom with a stony face.

The man stood and peered out of his bedroom. Jinyoung, in his black trousers and blue shirt, was paying no attention to him as usual.

Yugyeom went to call out a greeting but bit his tongue and left it. He would not act like everything was normal today, because it wasn’t. He picked up a box and moved it to be outside of his room, then helped Bambam with another one. It wasn’t until Jinyoung had put his phone down and actually glanced over at Yugyeom’s room that he noticed the small stack of cardboard outside. He watched with a neutral expression as a stranger and his boyfriend moved the final box from the room, then turned the light off.

Bambam’s eyes went to Jinyoung, and they watched each other for a moment.  
“What’s happening?” Jinyoung looked over at Yugyeom, feigning a polite innocence with a nervous smile.   
“Oh, I’m just packing up.” Yugyeom replied dismissively, looking at Bambam rather than Jinyoung.  
“Packing up for what?” Jinyoung was quite clearly confused by Bambam’s presence, but he didn’t find that important currently.  
“I’m moving. To Bambam’s house,” he signalled the stranger, “my friend.”  
“Moving out? Why? Gyeom, you never talked to me about this.” He emphasised the nickname, tilting his head and allowing his brows to furrow as if upset.

Yugyeom’s throat went dry. Jinyoung hadn’t used any nicknames for a long time, nor had he seemed to care this much for as long as he could remember. He glanced over at the pile of boxes, then over at Bambam who was watching him with fiery eyes.

“I- just… am…” Yugyeom struggled.

Jinyoung sucked in a sharp breath. He could see the logic drawing conclusions in his eyes, he could see his stance to become more confident. The stance that he used to dream over, the man that he used to pine over. Now what? The man that he desperately wanted to be free from? That seemed so twisted.  
  
“You just are. Well, there’s a reason. You’re going to make me pay rent all by myself? You’re going to forget the movie nights and dinners together? Are you going to break up with me? Is that what you’re saying?” Jinyoung’s eyes glimmered, though perhaps that was just an illusion.

Movie nights, dinners together. Yugyeom didn’t even remember what those were. He felt guilty though. It was immature to leave Jinyoung alone to pay for rent by himself, and maybe it was too much of a hurry to break up with him at this time.

“Well- because you’ve been… cheating…” Yugyeom started.  
“Cheating?” Jinyoung laughed then. Not a hysterical laugh, not a laugh as if something was funny. A laugh that seemed to say: ‘how dare you?’ or ‘seriously?’

Bambam wanted nothing in that moment to wrap Yugyeom in a tight hug and promise him that he would be okay. He couldn’t do that though, it was too late, Jinyoung would only get angrier.

“You could’ve just talked to me instead of coming in here with your little friend and packing up everything like some sad romance drama. You don’t even have proof of my cheating. You can’t just act on your suspicions; that’s childish. It turns out that you’re just as dumb and useless as I thought you were. Oh- wait- you can make a coffee. Well done. Did you go to university for that? Must be really hard.” Jinyoung pushed himself off the wall, brushing past the two to get to his bedroom.

He stopped in the doorway.

“Oh, and Yugyeom,” he turned to face them, truly hysterical by now, “the planet will die someday, your eco-friendliness will never help anyone. All those scrapbooks that you made me for our anniversaries and those shitty little gifts; all trash. Crafty? Don’t make me laugh. Bye.” He slammed the door, the clatter of books falling echoing throughout the house.

Yugyeom was frozen in his spot, his mind was going to explode. His eyes had already given up, melted into waterfalls that he couldn’t stop. He felt to weak to stand, so he slowly lowered himself to the ground, where he felt Bambam’s hand rubbing his back.

“Come on, let’s get out of here at least.” He murmured, standing up himself to start moving the boxes.

Despite Yugyeom’s emotional state, they managed to get all the boxes outside of the house without much trouble. Yugyeom unhooked the house key from his mass of other keys, and left it calmly on the counter. With a final glance at Jinyoung’s door, he left.

There was a void in his heart that only caused further sobbing once truly outside.  
“He was right, wasn’t he?” Yugyeom said miserably to no one in particular.  
Bambam frowned. “No, he’s just a manipulative prick. Hey, I think it’s pretty cool that you care about the environment so much.”

He gave a reassuring smile to his friend, then laughed nervously. “I’ll call Mark and ask him to pick us up. He’s the one with the car.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished writing this... enjoy the domestic MarkJae lol
> 
> ((P.S: WISHING BAMBAM LOTS OF LUCK WITH THE ARMY DRAW, AGAPRAY))

“How’s that?” Bambam stood back, sliding to be in line with Yugyeom. They tilted their heads to study the item, almost synchronised, a slow and quiet hum escaping the barista.

They had spent three hours trying to adjust Bambam’s room to fit Yugyeom’s needs. Bambam had easily given up his room for other, since he barely used it and would be able to sleep on the couch in the office if he needed to. The only thing that they shared was the cupboard, which was big enough to fit both of their clothes- despite it being easy to mix up some items.

The queen bed had new covers, a beige aesthetic that splashed across not only the sheets, but also onto the various simple decorations. Bambam had bought him a dim wooden lamp that was shaped as a lamb for a housewarming gift that sat nicely upon the makeshift bedside table. Makeshift, as it was just a low stool they had found tucked in the corner of the loungeroom with no use.

Mark had also moved a bookshelf from Youngjae’s and his room to Bambam’s room, after clearing a bunch of junk off it. Yugyeom felt like a slight hassle, but each person gave some sort of excuse to make him feel better.

“You’ve helped me to finally find a motivation to clean.” Mark had said with a wide smile and a slight laugh.  
When Bambam helped Yugyeom unpack; “I’m pretty sure I need a break anyway- my eyesight is starting to leave.”  
Even Youngjae, who he had never met before. “No, I don’t mind. I don’t even know how Bam got these holes in the wall. You can use my posters to cover them up.”

Youngjae was the person that he had paid the most attention to. He seemed very happy with that fact that Yugyeom was moving in, and applauded Bambam on getting a new friend. He was a very relaxed person, always seeming to be smiling and fluttering about. He even asked Yugyeom if he could teach him to make café quality coffee, to which the barista had instantly agreed to. He somewhat resembled a puppy, following Mark around when he was home or otherwise sleeping and gaming. He didn’t seem as invested as Bambam, yet had the same skill level. Yugyeom liked his company overall.

Now, with the final part of the room put on display, both Yugyeom and Bambam surveyed it carefully. It was a pot plant, a thin but tall orchid that added a splash of white to the otherwise brown room. Yugyeom was excited for the new addition; excited to be able to care for something other than himself.

“It looks good. Are you sure it’s okay to have inside?” Yugyeom asked cautiously, anything seemed to be okay here.  
“Yeah, of course. You don’t seem like the type to go insane with the soil or anything.” Bambam patted him on the shoulder and turned around to the door.

With a sharp intake of breath, he glanced over at the heater which was buzzing quietly; a certain thrum that could be felt in the carpet and walls while still being comforting.  
“I hope that won’t be annoying across the fall and winter…” he said under his breath, drawing Yugyeom’s attention to it.  
“I’m just grateful to be warm.” He replied with a small smile, rubbing his hands together by instinct.

It was nearly September; leaves were turning shades of vibrant orange and red before falling to the ground, scarves and coats were coming back into fashion, the café’s popularity was growing with the demand of hot drinks. Yugyeom didn’t personally like the cold seasons, it made him feel lazier and unmotivated, but he did enjoy the explosion of business. Bambam didn’t care much; he did find winter fashion interesting though.

“Oh,” Bambam turned again, meeting eyes with his friend, “since we’re alone right now, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Mark and Youngjae both have their birthdays soon and normally I organise a big event by myself- but since you live here now, I was thinking you could help with the ideas.”  
Yugyeom blinked several times, processing it. Being a part of birthday celebrations was a very ‘family-like’ thing. “Do you have anything so far? I’d love to help…”  
Bambam nodded, glancing back at the door with paranoid eyes. He stepped closer to Yugyeom, bowing his head slightly to try and be as quiet as possible.

“I was thinking about an arcade.” He whispered, glancing up at the barista to gauge his reaction.  
“An arcade? Would Mark like that?” He replied, trying to imitate Bambam’s hushed voice.  
“See, here’s the thing,” Bambam grew closer again, “Mark doesn’t really mind where he goes. The main thing for him is that Youngjae is having fun. He’s sappy like that.”

Yugyeom’s mouth formed an ‘O’ shape as Bambam stepped back reluctantly. An arcade would be fun for the two gamers, he probably wouldn’t get much from it though. That was okay.

“Well I think it would work. You said a big event though?”  
Bambam nodded rapidly. “We’d have to think of two more ideas at least. It can’t be a circus, a theme park, a pool party, a barbecue or a reservation for an entire restaurant. Those have been done.”  
Yugyeom rose his eyebrow in question, regarding the last activity.  
“Listen, it was expensive and quiet, but I ended up leaving early so that they could be romantic and kiss over the table or something.” Bambam shrugged.

Yugyeom’s lips pressed into a crooked smile, Bambam was sort of cute in his own quirky way.  
“Alright, I’ll think about it. You needed to go practice, didn’t you? You can go, I don’t want to be distracting you from your job.” He smiled reassuringly at the gamer who lit up at the fact that he called it a ‘job.’  
“You’re never a distraction… come on, do you want to come watch? I could give you some tips!” Bambam’s eyes were practically glowing.  
“I wouldn’t want to intrude…”  
Bambam cut him off, gently latching onto the other’s wrist. “You could never ‘intrude’, I really like hanging out with you.”

Yugyeom felt his face flush, it was new for him to be appreciated somewhere. He nodded slowly.  
“Let’s go then.”

Yugyeom spent about an hour watching Bambam, then left when the gamer got too engaged to properly converse with. Youngjae and Bambam had remained in the digital world until Mark arrived home, and the four properly organised a date to visit the arcade. As it turned out, the next day was the only time they were all free before Mark’s birthday.

\--

After a night of tossing and turning, Yugyeom woke up on the edge of the bed with the only thing keeping him from falling being his legs wrapped in sheets. He sat up, blinking several times then glancing over at the door. As if on cue, Bambam entered.

“Oh- you’re actually awake. Good morning.” He smiled his wide, authentic smile, his fingers tightly wrapped around the doorknob.  
Yugyeom was too tired to speak, so he just nodded and rubbed his face with the palm of his hand.  
“We’re leaving in half an hour, everyone’s already having breakfast if you want to come out soon. If you don’t think that’s enough time then we don’t mind-“  
“It’s okay,” Yugyeom managed to croak, “I’ll manage.”

There was a moment of hesitation where Bambam studied the man for what seemed like a second too long, then he left again, the door clicking softly behind him.

Yugyeom willed himself to stand up and change into a thick turtleneck sweater and jeans, a somewhat fashionable look, but warm rather than anything else. When he stepped out of the room, he was blinded for a second due to the brightness of the house. In his old house, everything had always been so dark and foreboding… the sunlight was nice.

“Good morning, Yugyeom. I made waffles if you want some.” Mark called out from the kitchen, allowing Yugyeom to make his way there easier.

It was only a small apartment and yet he still couldn’t figure out which room was where. He was taking a while to adjust but he enjoyed the new surroundings. As he approached, Bambam and Youngjae stuck their heads out from behind a wall, causing the barista to jump slightly.

“Do you want orange juice or apple juice?” Youngjae asked.  
“Maple syrup or cream? Both?” Bambam questioned.  
Yugyeom laughed nervously. “I-I don’t mind, whatever is convenient…”  
Bambam tutted and reached out, his fingers gently twining with Yugyeom’s. “Come on, don’t be shy. You don’t need to have whatever’s ‘convenient’, just have whatever you feel like.” He smiled reassuringly, leading him to the table.

Yugyeom’s eyes widened by the subtle connection between them, he had to look away just to stop himself from thinking about specific stuff. Like Bambam’s hand. Was it soft, or was he imagining things? The gamer let go as he pulled out a chair for Yugyeom, indicating for him to sit down. He did so, watching as his friend sat down beside him.

Mark emerged with a pink apron, oversized mittens and a large plate between his hands. It was stacked with an unrealistic amount of waffles, and was placed in the centre so that everyone had an equal reach. The two gamers stared at the food with hungry and nearly sparkling eyes, but did not go to grab anything until Mark had sat down and signalled to start.

Yugyeom almost didn’t want to eat, it was too entertaining to watch the pair battle for the same waffle and jab at each other’s fingers with chopsticks and forks. Mark’s eyes met Yugyeom’s, and he smiled apologetically.

“It’s a contest constantly around here. Bambam gave Youngjae one worded answers for two weeks because of a match they played. Youngjae also deliberately banned Bambam’s characters for about a week after Bambam stole all his kills one game. This stuff isn’t rare. I just don’t interfere normally, I prefer to wait.” He nodded to the food, which was now free as the two ate ravenously.

Yugyeom took one, then Mark. It was silent for a few minutes as everyone simply savoured good cooking, but it didn’t take long for that to be disrupted.  
“Youngjae, you’re going to be beaten so bad today. I’ll be Mario and you’ll be Luigi- second best.” Bambam taunted, standing up with a clean plate.  
“You can’t be serious. I’ll win against you, no matter what game.”

It was like watching a children’s show. He expected a narrator to come in and preach about some sort of life lesson about bullying or being mean.

“How about we just get there before someone’s head gets blown off.” Mark stood too, followed by Youngjae and eventually Yugyeom. He wondered how Mark could always be so calm and deal with it.

They piled into the car, Youngjae in the passenger’s seat beside Mark and the other two in the back. Yugyeom looked out the window since he didn’t feel there was much to do; that was, until the radio was turned on. It started out as a slow hum in the background that no one paid much attention to, until Mark turned the volume up slightly and Youngjae glanced back at Bambam.

“Bam, this is the song they played at the championships last year, remember?” He smiled widely at his friend, excited from the memory.  
Bambam didn’t respond for a moment, his brows furrowing as he tried to engage with the song. His expression vanished as his face lit up. “I do remember- when we were coming on stage, right?”

Youngjae nodded rapidly and Bambam let out a nostalgic sigh.  
“Have you ever watched a gaming tournament, Yugyeom?” Youngjae asked.  
The barista shook his head slightly, and Bambam groaned. “Don’t watch the 2014 or 2015 one, I had the worst hair dye. Last year’s one was good though. It was a clean and easy victory.”  
“Clean and easy? You came home and didn’t stop complaining for about three hours, which was only because you passed out mid-sentence.” Mark piped up, glancing in the mirror with a taunting smile at Bambam.  
“It was a long drive.” Bambam defended, crossing his arms.  
“Forty minutes both ways.”

Bambam went to respond but shut his mouth and looked out the window grouchily.

They pulled up outside of a large, bubble-gum coloured brick building that was decorated in graffiti of video game characters. Yugyeom couldn’t recognise any but as he got out, he could hear Bambam and Youngjae rapidly competing against each other to label the characters. He glanced down at his phone, 11:30am- the café would be shutting in an hour and a half. He hoped that his boss was okay; a new, inexperienced casual teenager had been recently hired, so that Yugyeom was able to take days off occasionally.

They had all gone into the arcade except for Bambam when Yugyeom looked back up. The moment they met eyes, Bambam cracked into a wide smile and waved his friend on.

“Yugyeom, are you coming?” He called out.  
The barista stood still for a moment, absorbed.

_“Gyeom, you have to come.” Jinyoung had urged, locking his hand around the other’s._   
_“What- where?” His eyes had widened as he had been tugged off, into Jinyoung’s bedroom._   
_Resting on the bed, there had been a neatly wrapped present- a brown box with red ribbon, and an envelope made of recycled paper. His eyes had lit up as he had turned back to his boyfriend._   
_“Yes, you can open it.” Jinyoung had laughed, giving Yugyeom a reassuring tap on the back._

_The man had rushed forward and carefully undone the knot, lifting the lid up and feeling his face glow even further. It was a tiny kitten, a purple ribbon adorned with a chiming bell had been wrapped loosely around its neck. It had looked up as Yugyeom had looked back at it, then the barista had started to cry. He hadn’t expected it at all, but when he looked, there were obviously holes in the box._

_“Thank you, Jinyoungie…”_

“Yugyeom, are you coming?” Bambam called out, shattering his thoughts.  
“O-oh, yes, sorry. You can go in first.” He replied, a weak smile fitting his face. The gamer hesitated for a moment, as if recognising that something was wrong, then gave up as his excitement got the better of him. He entered.

The barista looked up to the grey sky that somehow resembled him. It was grey and bleak, threatening to snow… if Yugyeom waited here forever, would he eventually be buried in ice? He tried to shake himself from it and followed after his group.

Inside, it was impossibly loud. Children screamed and laughed, games yelling to fight and begin echoed throughout the room. He looked over at the counter, where both Bambam and Youngjae were practically bouncing around with excitement, and where Mark was getting ready to pay and talking to the cashier. Bambam smoothly brushed past Mark and paid with his own card before the other could, earning a wide-eyed glance. Yugyeom approached them, then followed them to a table where they all sat. They apparently had food here, but Yugyeom didn’t have high expectations for it.

“You guys can go off and play if you want. Yugyeom and I can stay here with our stuff. Unless you want to go too, Yugyeom?” Mark offered, to which the barista shook his head.  
The other two gamers nodded and were out of their seats as quick as they had sat down initially.  
“You can go if you want, Mark. It’s meant to be a celebration for both you and Youngjae. I don’t mind being alone.” Yugyeom smiled at him.  
“No, it’s okay. I’m not very much into games, and we can always hand our stuff in to the front if we want to join in later. I’m fine just watching Youngjae have fun.” His eyes slid over to where his boyfriend had joined Bambam at a racing game.

Yugyeom remembered that Bambam had told him that. He just wanted to see Youngjae having fun; he had a small envy for such happy couples.

It was after three hours that the pair came back to the table, and by then, Yugyeom had sunken against the wall after two chocolate thick shakes, Mark was engrossed in his novel about Russian enterprises, and the two gamers were somehow puffed and whiny. Yugyeom glanced up as Bambam flopped down beside him, a long and tired sigh escaping.

“41-43.” He stated bluntly, casting a sour look at the chair across from him.  
“Sorry?” Yugyeom sat up, quizzically gazing at his friend.  
“Youngjae beat me, 41-43.” Bambam repeated, looking away as Youngjae sat across from him and fell onto Mark’s lap. The man put his book away, looking down at his boyfriend.

He smiled, a soft and caring reflection in his eyes, before running his fingers through the other’s hair.

“So you played… 84 games? Seriously?” Yugyeom asked, slightly awed.  
“There were more but man- I’m exhausted.” Bambam sunk further into his chair, shutting his eyes with a grunt.  
“Would you like to leave soon then? I think Yugyeom and I are fine to go?” Mark looked over at the barista in question, who nodded as a reply.  
“No I want to beat Jae..” Bambam trailed off, his brows furrowing.  
“You won’t be able to~” Youngjae called quietly in reply, also falling asleep from Mark’s touch.  
“Yeah I will-“  
“No you won’t-“  
“YEAH, I will!” Bambam practically shouted, sitting upright again, causing the other man to do the same.  
“You won’t and we already-“  
“Stop it, you two. We’re going home. If you don’t stop fighting then I’m going to make vegetable stir-fry.”

The two gamers stared at each other, then silently got up and watched Mark expectantly. That had worked better than expected.  
“What’s wrong with vegetable stir-fry?” Yugyeom asked, more to himself as he joined them.  
“Nothing, they just avoid anything that isn’t junk.” Mark shrugged.

The group made their way out of the arcade, thanking the staff as they left. The sky had darkened completely despite it still being afternoon; snow drifted down lazily. They paused and looked up, the steady sight striking them silent for the first time in a while.

Mark and Youngjae started for the car, but Bambam and Yugyeom stayed still.

“Yugyeom.” Bambam spoke, his voice soft.  
“Mm?”  
“It’s cold.”

It seemed so simple- those two words. Muttered in such a way that it would make sense if it was said through tears. As Yugyeom looked at his friend, he could’ve sworn that it was a lot less simple in those eyes. He felt Bambam’s hand lock around his, the same secure grip as before.

“It is.” Yugyeom answered back, squeezing Bambam’s hand in response.

\--

A few days had passed, then it was Mark’s birthday. Yugyeom and Bambam had decided to do three events- the arcade, done before both of their birthdays, a hotel night, done on Mark’s birthday and a home night, done on Youngjae’s birthday.

The hotel night was done on a Saturday. Yugyeom woke up and gave Mark a simple gift, one that he had made himself. It was a dream catcher, woven from white strings and occasionally adorned with gold or silver beads. Mark seemed to like it- but he probably would’ve liked anything. He set it up above his bed, after hastily apologising for the messy sheets and the still-sleeping Youngjae. Yugyeom felt a sense of pride, a sense of family. He really liked these people, even if they didn’t like him back. They seemed to.

Bambam woke up, and then about half an hour later, Youngjae did too. The three sat at the table until Youngjae came in, sleepily making his way over to Mark. He locked his arms around the other’s neck loosely, resting his chin on Mark’s hair.  
“I’m sorry for sleeping in so much… happy birthday~” He trailed off, his eyes shutting again. He would’ve started to fall asleep if Mark hadn’t of raised his cup of coffee to the other.  
The man grabbed it thankfully, wrapping his fingers around the hot mug and drinking slowly.  
“I’m glad you got to rest lots. Thank you.” He smiled and Youngjae meandered over to the seat next to him.

Bambam watched the exchange warily, glancing over at Yugyeom. He didn’t say anything.

“So, Mark. The reason I waited for Youngjae to wake up to give you your gift is because it’s for both of you.” Bambam reached into his tracksuit pocket, pulling out a crinkled envelope with mild struggle. He handed it over to the other across the table, then rested his chin on his hand.

Mark took the gift, raising an eyebrow. “It better not be anything too expensive…”  
“Yugyeom and I split the cost for it. So, it’s technically from both of us. Not that expensive. Maybe we should’ve handed it over together…”  
Yugyeom waved him off with a smile, watching as Mark unfolded the card, his eyes widening.  
“Bambam-“ He was struck silent, turning it slightly so that a straining Youngjae could see it better.  
“Woah, it’s better than last year.” Youngjae lit up, his tired aura seeming to vanish momentarily.

The gamer shrugged, drinking coffee as an excuse to not respond.  
“Thank you so much, wow. It’s for tonight?” Mark looked up in question, receiving a nod in reply.  
“Better get packing then.” Youngjae stood up, then looked as if he wanted to sit back down. Instead, he went around the table and gave Bambam a lazy but genuine hug.  
“Thank you Bam.” He sung out, smiling as the other patted his back.

He broke away then went over to Yugyeom. “Is it okay if I hug you?” He asked, and the barista didn’t reply for a moment, caught off guard.  
“Y-yes, sure…”  
Youngjae wrapped his arms around the other almost instantly. “Thank you too, Yugyeom.”

Mark smiled as he watched them, then also stood. “Come on then.” He went over to Bambam, who stood up and pulled the other into a rough hug. It was more like an embrace than anything, then he walked over to Yugyeom and did the same.

The two were beyond grateful, and after a few more words of gratitude, hastily left the room to go and get ready.  
“Was it really that good of a present?” Yugyeom asked Bambam curiously, who shrugged.  
“It’s a five-star hotel that’s well known for its traditional food. Plus, it’s on the mountainside so the views should be extraordinary. Thanks for helping me pay for it.” He grinned at the other.  
“No problem. Thanks for letting me a be a part of all this.”  
“Hey, you’re a part of everything. You’re family now.” He patted Yugyeom’s shoulder and then paused.  
“Speaking of, we’re going to be alone tonight. We should go and get some snacks. And a movie- or maybe two. Three? Three to be safe. Do you want to go for a walk?”

\--

Youngjae and Mark left at 2pm, Bambam and Yugyeom started their movie night at 4pm. They ordered pizza on Bambam’s wish; Yugyeom was fine as long as the boxes were recyclable. The two were propped up on Bambam’s bed, a laptop between them. The curtains had been pulled shut, the room cast into complete darkness except for the light emitting from the device. The first movie was a typical romance movie, the second a typical spy action movie, and the third a quirky yet popular drama. It was surprising that the two enjoyed the same genres and commented on the same scenes.

Empty candy and chip packets were littered around the room, a half-eaten pizza had been abandoned on the bedside table. By the third movie, both of them had sunken into the pillows, their foreheads practically touching as they struggled to watch the movie.  
“He’s going to die.”  
“Yeah, probably-“  
“There he goes.” Bambam sighed.  
“It was predictable, wasn’t it?” Yugyeom commented, chewing his lip absently.  
“Yeah but- he’ll be back within the next ten minutes. He’s the main character, and that chick won’t be able to cope with his death. Typical.”  
Yugyeom groaned, shutting his eyes. “Maybe we should just stop watching.”  
Bambam hummed, agreeing. “I’m tired anyway… and we already know the ending.”

The gamer strained, trying to shut the laptop lid.  
“Here.” Yugyeom reached over easily, closing it for him. He grabbed it, moving it to the free bedside table. It was black again.

“Goodnight, Yugyeom.” Bambam murmured, shuffling so that his face buried into the other’s neck.  
“Goodnight.” He hesitantly rested his chin on the other man’s head.

The warmth was unimaginable. How comfortable it was, how well they fit each other. The way their legs tangled together, the heat of Bambam’s breath on his neck. Yugyeom’s arm went around the other’s waist, and they were closer than ever.

This was all he had wanted.

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> late uploads once again 0w0
> 
> I wonder if anyone even actively reads this anymore ;')))) enjoy anyhow~

They arrived at the hotel around 3pm, the drive had been long but relaxing, with the two just laughing and talking about random topics. Youngjae brought up the fact that he wanted a dog- Mark sympathised with his allergies. Mark wondered aloud about the food they would have- Youngjae confessed that he just wanted good chocolate. The hotel was massive- stretching an unimaginable distance into the sky and designed to depict a sleek and modern palace. The front driveway was a circular format, looping around a towering waterfall. Perfectly trimmed hedges and flower bushes lined every empty space while staff would gush out to greet anyone who pulled in.

As they drove in, two men approached their car to help with luggage and to take the car to a private parking space. It felt strange to Mark to be handing his keys to a stranger, but Youngjae was enthusiastically guiding him inside before he could hesitate further. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling, but not an obscene amount that made it feel overbearing. There was a coffee lounge, a bar, a restaurant, directions to the several indoor pools and gyms- they had to pause for a moment just to register everything.

The porter brought their small amount of luggage to the front desk, where the receptionist greeted them and handed them their room key. Bambam and Yugyeom had booked them a room near the top floor with a balcony and king bed, the pool was meant to be one floor down. Youngjae and Mark made their way to the elevator with hands interlaced, a silent squeeze acting as a sign to display nervous ecstasy. The porter would apparently go in the next elevator so that they could be alone for the trip; it seemed weirdly considerate.

“What do you want to do first?” Youngjae glanced at Mark who hummed.  
“Swim, if it’s not too busy.” He flicked his eyes to his watch.  
Youngjae moved to rest his head on Mark’s shoulder. “It doesn’t matter if it’s busy or not- let’s just go for it.”  
Mark smiled slightly, patting his partner’s head. “Mm, okay.”

The elevator stopped, doors opening to a long hallway. It looked fairly plain and the doors were spaced out quite strangely. Mark assumed it was because the rooms were too big to squish together- he guessed correctly. Their door was halfway down, number 357.

He unlocked it slowly, stepping aside to let Youngjae in first. He heard his partner gasp, and so he stepped in to join him. The floor was formed from spotless white carpet, the roof from smooth wood. The lights were built into the roof, giving off a warm and dim glow rather than a piercing one. There was a kitchen with a snack hamper resting on one of the counters, and past the kitchen was the bedroom.

“Maybe we can steal the bed..” Youngjae whispered, walking into the large room.

It was king-sized, with four beams that jutted out to the ceiling and allowed for fabric to drape lazily across the top of it. There was a wide variety of cushions set out at the head of the bed, which Youngjae had already flopped onto without hesitation.

“Is it still worth stealing?” Mark grinned, going over to the other side and sitting.  
Youngjae let out an inhuman groan and rolled over, locking his arms around the other’s waist and burying his face into Mark’s lower back.    
“Very much so. Way better than our bed.” Youngjae replied, his voice muffled by Mark’s clothes.

They stayed like that for a moment, Mark didn’t have the heart to try and mention a different activity, and Youngjae was already busily falling asleep. Eventually, the older man broke out of it, causing a distressed cry from the other man.  
“Come on, you can sleep later. Let’s go do some stuff.”

 

They spent the day swimming, drinking and reading- anything that one could think of as a recreational activity. By 6pm, they were back in their hotel room ordering room service. Youngjae came out of the bathroom, drying his hair roughly, then throwing the towel on a nearby couch. He watched Mark, who sat on the edge of the bed with the phone to order food.

Youngjae smiled to himself. Mark hadn’t showered yet, so he was still in his swimmers. Some board shorts that had been sitting in his cupboard for a while, but had never been used. No shirt though- that was his favourite part. It was rare to see his boyfriend without a shirt in the light, and he had to say, Mark had one of the best backs he had ever seen.

As if noticing that Youngjae was watching him, Mark turned around after hanging up.   
“It should be here within half an hour. You’re done with the bathroom?”   
Youngjae nodded wordlessly, watching Mark stand and a pick up a bundle of clothes.

He went to go into the bathroom, but Youngjae stood in front of him.   
“Password.” Youngjae said firmly, meeting eyes with his boyfriend.  
A small smile appeared on the other’s face. “Youngjae is a good gamer.”  
“Not the password, but you aren’t wrong. Password.”  
Mark hummed, as if trying to think harder. “Well if not that then-“

He was cut off as Youngjae placed a quick kiss on his jaw. Mark studied him for a second, his eyes hiding a range of emotions, then Youngjae stood aside.  
“You may enter.” He bowed his head ever so slightly, hearing Mark laugh quietly.  
“You never stop being cute, do you?” Mark ruffled his partner’s hair, his voice filled with love, then stepped inside and closed the door.

Youngjae grinned to himself, raising a closed fist into the air to mark his own victory.

\--

They checked out with an aura of refreshment, as if they were a whole new couple. They thanked the staff several times, and felt a pang of sadness when they had to eventually drive off. The car trip home seemed less lively than the trip there, most likely because they were both tired. Even when they got home, the liveliness was still missing. Neither Yugyeom or Bambam were to be seen.

“Do you think they’re out?” Youngjae asked, carrying his luggage.  
“Hmm… I’m not sure. Where would they be?” Mark put his own bag down on their bed, then took Youngjae’s off him and laid it next to his own.

He started to unpack, running around the house to put everything back in its place. By the time he had taken his toothbrush out, he heard a sharp whisper from Youngjae.  
“Mark, you have to see this.”

The man stepped out of Bambam’s room, rapidly signalling for his partner to come. Hesitating, Mark did so, and peeked through a slight gap in the door. Inside, he could see two bodies. Tangled together, perfectly. His eyes widened as he realised that it was the barista, lying peacefully, and the gamer with his leg over the other.   
“They are most definitely in love.” Youngjae whispered sharply.  
“Definitely.” Mark reasserted.

Youngjae slowly shut the door again, and the couple stood still for a few moments, simply looking at each other.   
“I expected it.” Youngjae finally said.  
“Me too.” Mark agreed.  
“Is that actually Bam? It’s kind of weird to see him like that, but I’m proud.” Youngjae smiled softly at his boyfriend, then moved past.

Mark stood there for a moment more. One part of him was uncertain. He doubted that Bambam considered Yugyeom romantically, but he was unsure of how Yugyeom perceived Bambam. If it was as he thought, an aware crush, then Yugyeom would only be hurt. Maybe it was none of his business, but he couldn’t help worrying.

Mark eventually left the door, going back to his own bedroom to help Youngjae unpack.

\--

A few more weeks went by, going past in such a blur that hardly anyone could correctly remember the date. Bambam and Youngjae left on the 6th, to fly out to a tournament in America, then returned on the 14th. It was a small tournament, but still widely popular and participated in; the prize pool wasn’t meagre either. Yugyeom watched the whole thing, some snippets live, and others from recordings after work. His manager noticed his distracted sort of state while he was working, for which the barista immediately apologised for when he was asked about it.

Yugyeom couldn’t identify why his behaviour was like that either- it wasn’t something completely new, to have a crush was advertised as quite normal. Maybe because Bambam was away. Even then, that didn’t really make sense. Yugyeom had been fine surviving without him for a while.

Mark observed him after work, when Yugyeom would steal Bambam’s old laptop to watch the recordings. Of course, the barista had next to no knowledge of technology; a grandma within youth, so Bambam had left a sticky note on the back of his laptop with step by step directions on how to get to the streaming site hosted by the tournament conductors. Since Bambam was quite re-known in the worldwide gaming community, the camera seemed to drift to him instantly.

On the 13th day, the day of the final match, it was Bambam’s team versing a Californian team in the international tournament. It was an intense game, one that put Yugyeom on the edge of his seat even when he didn’t understand fully what was happening. The most interesting thing was watching Bambam’s expressions- whenever he died, there would be a sour look on his face as if someone had just spilt coffee on his keyboard. Whenever he got a kill, he’d absently fist bump a simultaneously distracted Youngjae. The game went back and forth- someone would die, then the other team would advance on the opposing base, only to get wiped out and restart.

It got to the point where only Bambam was alive, defending the base on his lonesome. Youngjae was estimated to respawn in 10 seconds, but the game was likely to end before then. It was likely, but it didn’t happen, as Bambam somehow managed to kill half their team before running off on a slither of health. From the stream, the crowd was going wild, chanting the gamer’s username and cheering. Yugyeom even caught himself smiling from the adrenaline, goose bumps pricking at his skin.

Youngjae respawned, and the two teleported into the enemy’s base, killing the remainder of the opposing team before winning. Yugyeom silently cheered, unable to stop grinning as he watched Youngjae and Bambam celebrate.

The two were out of their chairs in an instant, hugging each other as the commentators declared the victory. The team circled around the other two, then the stream came to a temporary close for advertisements. Yugyeom looked up, hearing the door creak open. Mark peeked in, met Yugyeom’s eyes, then entered with a half-smile.

“Got a moment?” He asked, closing the door behind him.  
“Yes,” he lowered the laptop’s screen, “what’s up?”  
Mark played with his hands for a moment, thinking how to phrase what he was going to say next. “Are you and… Bambam still friends?” He asked slowly, raising his eyebrows slightly.  
Yugyeom tilted his head. “Yes, why?”  
“It’s just that… I feel there’s something more than friendship there,” He paused, studying the barista, “I’m not complaining about that, or advising against it. I think it’s good- just, if you do feel that way towards Bambam, I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s something to hide from. I think he might return the feelings.” He concluded finally, offering another reassuring smile.

Yugyeom didn’t reply; he didn’t know how to. Mark nodded, and then left again, leaving Yugyeom alone with his thoughts and the sound of the stream in the background. The barista’s eyes fell to the laptop, he lifted the screen ever so slightly. Bambam was being interviewed onscreen.

“…we’ve had a lot of time to practice, so I’m glad that it’s paid off. Thanks to my gaming buddy, Jae, for having a similar lack of life. Also, my good friend Yugyeom for the excellent coffee.” He nodded his head, as if he knew that the other man was watching.

_Good friend._

Yugyeom closed the laptop, his eyes glued to the wall. What did it mean to be classified as a good friend? A friend, but closer than that. Surely, that term could evolve into something more, something that imitated love- or something that was love. Did he want that? His thoughts flickered back to Bambam’s expression, Bambam’s constant care and concern for him, the warmth from their combined bodies in bed. His eyes fell to the floor; of course he wanted love. At this point, he didn’t know what is was- his relationship with Jinyoung had hardly been loving. In the end, it had only been pain. If that situation repeated… Yugyeom’s face twisted.

Still, nothing changed when Bambam and Youngjae returned. It was back to normal, mainly because Yugyeom didn’t want to bring up the topic in fear of shattering the bond between them. Mark had informed Youngjae of what he had told the barista, and now the couple were stuck watching an oblivious Bambam and a anxiously nervous Yugyeom run in circles.

When it finally hit Youngjae’s birthday, Yugyeom and Bambam were left at home while Mark took his boyfriend out as a distraction. They were going to set up a ‘birthday’ house, decorated with balloons, banners, food and presents. It was destined to be a legendary movie night. The tall barista had been tasked with hanging all of the banners and streamers, since Bambam struggled to reach the highest places even with a chair.

“You do stuff like this every year?” Yugyeom asked, ignoring the burning sensation of his aching arms.   
“Yeah. It’s easier with you around though. I normally fall off the chair once or twice…” Bambam rushed between the kitchen and coffee table, setting out bowls of wrapped food. He didn’t think they had enough, but there was a convenience store close enough that they could drop by there to buy more stuff if needed.

Yugyeom’s eyes fell to him once the ‘happy birthday’ banner had been pinned up. He looked ruffled, his hair mussed from running around all morning, while his face still looked sunken from fatigue after the tournament. The man hadn’t slept properly since, still choosing to stay awake until the early hours of the morning, which Yugyeom subtly tried to persuade him against.

Bambam glanced up at him and offered a quick smile, before taking a seat on the couch with a packet of balloons.  
“Did you finish all the banners?” The gamer asked.  
“Yeah. Do you need help with the balloons?”  
Bambam nodded, so Yugyeom went and sat beside him. They split the packet between themselves, the sound of balloon after balloon being inflated banished the concept of silence. Once done, they didn’t hurry to do any other tasks, preferring to have a break.

“Where did Mark end up taking him?” Yugyeom rested his head on the back of the couch, so that he was staring up at the ceiling.  
“I think they just went shopping. Browsing pet shops and such.”  
“Isn’t that kind of cruel?”  
“What is?” Bambam turned to look at him, and Yugyeom dropped his head so that they could make eye contact.   
“Taking him to a pet shop when he’s allergic to animal hair?”   
Bambam shook his head with a slight smile. “Youngjae doesn’t mind- he doesn’t get sad- rather, he cherishes every moment that he gets to see the animals. He might sneeze a bit, but they don’t stay in there for long.”

He seemed to care a lot about Youngjae. He acted as if they were brothers- or at least something more than friends. It didn’t seem like love though; what kind of weird love triangle would that be? There was silence for a while, neither person bothering to talk, or feeling the need to do so. Eventually, Bambam got up and checked his phone.

“Mark said they’ll be back within half an hour.” He glanced around the place, trying to pick up on anything that might be out of place. It all seemed fine, orderly, but in a chaotic sort of way.

There was a banner strung across the kitchen island, balloons littered the floor and some were pinned to the ceiling along with streamers and other troublesome party decorations. There would be enough food to hopefully last, which was scattered across the coffee table. To decorate the loungeroom, old bean bags, blankets and cushions had been pulled out of storage. It was a jumbled mess.

The gamer came and sat back down. “When’s your birthday?” He let his legs rest on Yugyeom’s lap, and the barista hummed in thought.  
“November 17th. Why?”  
“Why?” Bambam laughed. “What kind of question is that? You didn’t think you could escape, did you? I’ll make your birthday the best one yet.”

He rose his arms in the air, an arc to only overdramatise the situation. Yugyeom couldn’t help laughing; it was almost as if the other man’s eyes were sparkling, wild with thoughts and the desire to please.   
“Well, that’s if I don’t make your birthday better.” Yugyeom stuck his tongue out, causing Bambam’s eyes to widen.  
“No, you can’t. That’s against the rules.”  
“What rules?” Yugyeom leaned into the other man, a challenge in his body language, causing the other to lean in as a reply.  
“My rules. The birthday rules. You can’t overthrow the president.”  
“What?” Yugyeom couldn’t help laughing. Bambam was making up anything that was convenient.  
“Yeah-“ He poked Yugyeom’s forehead gently, “-don’t underestimate your ruler, kid. You can’t do better than me otherwise… I’ll…”  
“You’ll?”  
There was obvious struggle on Bambam’s face before it cleared and his eyes widened. “I’ll sue you.”  
“Mr President, no-!” Yugyeom yelled, covering his face to add effect.

That was the final straw. They burst into laughter, which was only perpetrated by the sound of each other’s laughing. Any time someone thought they had calmed down, they would glance at the other and start up again.

As the two friends sat on the couch, practically falling off, the ‘birthday couple’ entered the apartment. They were silent for a moment as they tried to comprehend what they had walked into. It didn’t take long for Yugyeom to realise their presence, but when he did, he fell off the couch with a soft thud.

“Happy birthday.” He tried to yell pathetically, his voice cracking as his body tried to recover from the laughter.  
At that point, Bambam had also whipped around. “You said half an hour. Liar.”  
“He didn’t want to go through the drive-thru, so we’re early.” Mark rose an eyebrow, finally proceeding further into the room, getting pulled into the loungeroom by the gamer.  
“I wouldn’t have trust you to decorate this place.” Youngjae looked around with impressed eyes, stopping on a streamer. It was pinned to a high point in the ceiling, the only one there.  
“Oh- Yugyeom put that one up. I thought he was going to fall off the chair so I told him not to do anymore.” Bambam said casually.  
“We got some of your favourites. Come on.” Yugyeom waved him into the loungeroom excitedly.

Youngjae joined them, but his mind was still on the looming possibility of Yugyeom and Bambam’s relationship. The looming possibility of an ever-oblivious Bambam, and the possibility of an ever-expecting Yugyeom.

\--

It hit 11pm and the group had successfully burned their way through three movies, but still had three more to go. Youngjae was asleep on the couch, but had woken up momentarily to demand they continued, while the other three were helpless to argue. Yugyeom eventually fell asleep too, with his head resting on Bambam’s lap, despite the multitude of cushions. When the third movie ended, Mark stretched, glancing over at the only other person who was awake.

“Do you want to come with me for a walk?” Mark asked, his voice soft from being unused for hours.  
Bambam rose an eyebrow. “What for?”  
“More food,” Mark indicated the table, “if Youngjae wakes up then he’ll probably eat more.”

Bambam was too tired to argue with the logic, so he slowly got up, holding Yugyeom’s head up until he found a cushion to slide beneath it. They grabbed coats, going out into the cold night with hands buried in pockets. They walked beside each other, silently listening to the crunch of snow underfoot. Nearby, they had a 24/7 convenience store, in which they could easily buy some snack foods. Of course, the price was a little unfair, but they wouldn’t buy much anyway.

They stepped inside, both letting out a sigh of relief from the rush of heated air.  
“Welcome.” The cashier called out, quickly going back to their other work after greeting them.  
“What do you want to get?” Bambam asked the other, who just shrugged.  
“Let’s just look around.”

Now, that seemed strange. Mark was normally quite organised, and never left the house for ‘a look around’. Most times, if not all times, he had a plan. They strolled casually through the drink section, Bambam watching Mark’s back warily, trying to assemble his thoughts coherently. When the man turned around, the train of thought instantly shattered.

“What do you think of Yugyeom?” Mark finally asked, his voice hinting at nothing.  
“What do you mean? I brought him into the house…” Bambam tilted his head slightly, “he’s my… friend? I guess.”  
“Just a friend?” Mark tried again, raising an inquisitive brow.  
“Yes? What else could he be?” Bambam was only getting more confused.   
Mark sighed, turning to the side so that they weren’t directly looking at each other. “Well sometimes, I just think- it’s only a thought- that you guys seem to be more than friends.”

He glanced back at Bambam again, who still didn’t seem to understand.  
“Best friends? Well I mean-“  
“Boyfriends. Lovers. You don’t act like ‘normal friends.’” Mark cut in, his words finally hitting Bambam. The man didn’t respond for a while, his eyes just widening ever so slightly.

He dropped his eyes from Mark; the floor didn’t seem to be so difficult to watch.  “Boyfriends?” He repeated, as if to clarify he had heard right.  
“Yes.”

Another long pause.   
“It’s not… it’s not like that. Surely you’re just reading too far into it?” Bambam’s voice was nervous.

Why nervous? Why did he seem so opposed to the idea? Maybe he was right. Maybe Mark and Youngjae were just too interested on a romantic relationship rather than a friendly relationship. There was something though, that was telling him that he wasn’t wrong.

“I don’t think I am but…”  
“I’m not- I don’t-“ Bambam struggled for words again, huffing, “-I’m not like that. Like- you know. You and Youngjae…”  
“Gay?” Mark said simply, and the gamer nodded.  
Mark hummed. “If that’s how you feel, then that’s okay. I just wanted to know.”

He patted Bambam on the shoulder, walking past him with a bottle of flavoured water to buy. The gamer didn’t follow instantly. His thoughts, the ones that had struggled just a minute ago, the same thoughts that seemed to be reminiscent of a toddler shoving puzzle pieces together, were suddenly becoming clearer and clearer. They didn’t act like friends? What about Yugyeom? How did he feel? Was he only perpetrating the idea, or leading Yugyeom on? Did Yugyeom even feel like that?

He finally had the heart to turn around- it wasn’t thought possible, but his face had paled even further, he seemed somewhat destroyed. If it wasn’t the case, then why did it seem to affect him so badly? He couldn’t stand these thoughts any longer- he would have to talk to Yugyeom at some point. Surely it was just a misunderstanding that they could move past?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I apologise at the start of every chapter because it's always really late and just- yeah, really late. HOWEVER, I would like to double apologise this time for the not so nice chapter that is about to commence. Bitta angst, bitta progress in the story.
> 
> I know you probably won't enjoy it but-- try enjoy reading~~

They shuffled through the door, Mark’s entrance marked by an extended yawn; Bambam’s by crippling silence. He made sure the door was locked behind them, and watched Mark go over to Youngjae’s side. The TV screen had since faded to black but nothing else had changed since the pair left for the convenience store. Both had been soundly asleep.

Mark’s face softened with a smile as he slowly pulled Youngjae into his arms, and lifted him over to their room.  
“Goodnight, Bambam. Get some sleep.” He spoke in a hushed tone, before disappearing.

Bambam paused for a moment, soaking in the silence once more.

He couldn’t help the fact that his eyes wondered to Yugyeom, the fact that his heart skipped a beat at the possibilities. To have a connection with someone else at this point in his life seemed like a foreign concept, especially with the constant attention that his career demanded. Of course, it was one that he had considered, but never properly regarded. Now that the situation was relevant enough to him, he was scared and quite frankly, lost.

He made his way to the barista’s side, kneeling beside the sleeping man. He was laying on his back, his arms in a loose embrace around a pillow that was pressed into his chest. His lips were slightly parted- just enough to let air through, just enough to safely kiss…

His hair had somehow become frantic; likely from tossing around whilst sleeping. For the most part, he looked peaceful, content, happy. So why did Bambam not feel the same? Inside, he could feel those strange feelings fighting against each other. Those strange urges to lean forward, while other urges told him to leave, causing a diverging path once more.

Yugyeom stirred, turning over so that his face was towards Bambam. His hair, in an almost dreamlike sequence, fell over his eyes and covered his forehead. The strange feelings; washing about inside him. Without him even telling himself to do so, he felt his finger reach upwards and steadily, steadily, brush the hair back from Yugyeom’s eyes. The closed eyes, the flickering eyes; the open eyes. Yugyeom’s eyes were open.

“Bambam.” His voice was croaky, nearly a groan, as his voice warmed up again after being unusued for a time.  
The gamer flinched back, his hand falling back to his side. “Sorry. Did I wake you up? I just didn’t want you to-“

His voice slowly faded out as he watched Yugyeom’s face change to a small smile.  
“Thank you. You always take care of me. Thank you.” He laughed, only a soft sound that hummed in the back of his throat, before closing his eyes again and starting to drift off again.  
“Just… tired. Don’t worry…” He murmured slowly, consumed once more by sleep.

Bambam’s eyes lingered on him, while his mind tried harder and harder to process what had been said. Now he was sleeping with a grin on his face, completely oblivious to what Bambam was struggling with.   
“Damn it.” Bambam muttered, standing again and rubbing his forehead in frustration.

\--

Two days later, and Bambam was well and truly lost. He didn’t know what to ask or say when faced with Mark and Youngjae; he found it way too confronting to attempt to talk to Yugyeom. He couldn’t even voice his thoughts to himself, how would he voice them to the person he suspected was a little more than a friend?

Yugyeom had picked up on the behavioural changes, and had asked him about it, but had been met with a quick dismissal. It was always nothing- just ‘stress for a tournament’. What other excuse could he give?

He and Youngjae were home alone; Mark and Yugyeom had left for work in the morning. It had become somewhat of a routine for Mark to drive to work and drop Yugyeom on the way- in return, Yugyeom would contribute to fuel costs and give Mark free coupons for coffee.

Bambam watched his screen with glazed eyes- his mind rarely let him focus on anything but Yugyeom these days, never strayed far from a concept that he failed to answer. Yes or no? Love or not? As he died once more, his death counter only increasing, he let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back in his chair.  
“Bam, something wrong?” Youngjae looked up, flicking his headphones down to his neck and studying his friend with a long pause.  
“Yeah- I don’t know…” he watched as ‘defeat’ rolled onto the screen.   
Another pause. “You want to go and get some lunch?”

There was complete silence for a while. Youngjae watched him, while Bambam’s eyes were still locked onto his frozen screen.   
“Sure.” He eventually said, his eyes finally flickering away from the computer.

The two stood, pulling on their coats as they left the office. The house seemed empty when they were alone; there was no one cooking in the kitchen, no one watching TV. Both felt the loneliness and emptiness as they walked past everything. The curtains were still drawn, so even sunlight was blocked from touching the room.

“Where are we going?” Bambam asked quietly, listening to the sound of the front door clicking shut as they walked out.  
“It depends…” Youngjae walked in front of him, turning his head with a small smile.  
“On what?”  
“On the code,” Youngjae tapped his head, “that we had when we first met? Fast food for banter, coffee for conversations. You wanted to talk about Yugyeom didn’t you?”   
Bambam stopped as he was walking, and looked at the other with wary eyes. “You knew?”  
Youngjae also came to a stop, and turned his head to look at the man. “It’s the only thing that I’ve ever seen you genuinely worried about. Come on.”

His question still hadn’t been answered specifically, Bambam was still clueless as to where they were going. It couldn’t have been far though, they were walking. Neither of them talked, it was a comfortable silence as they moved beside each other and studied their passing surroundings. They reached a familiar street- Bambam hadn’t been out of the house in a while, so the location was on the tip of his tongue, yet he couldn’t seem to place it.

Youngjae stopped at an eventual shop and opened the door; a bell chimed. The bell; he knew exactly where they were. His heart rate picked up, a sudden panic overcoming him. Bambam reached for Youngjae’s wrist almost instinctively, but it was too late to pull him back outside. Yugyeom had called out a welcome, and now was watching them with a wide smile on his face. He wanted to ask Youngjae what the hell he was doing, coming here even though he knew his problems. Instead, he was struck into silence, and had to shuffle in behind his friend.

“Good morning, I haven’t seen you guys in here for a while.” Yugyeom said cheerily as they approached the counter.   
“It’s been a bit too long, hasn’t it?” Youngjae replied, equally as happy.

Bambam felt extremely uncomfortable, in the middle of a place where he was the only uneasy one.

“Take away cups or-?”  
“No, we’ll have a drink in here today, I think. If you have a spare table, that is.”

Yugyeom nodded enthusiastically, reaching for two menus as if it were a well-practiced dance. Why was Bambam noticing that even? Why did it matter if Yugyeom had to brush his hair to one side to get it out of his eyes- why was he paying attention to the way the barista left behind the counter? His eyes fell to the floor to try and distract himself- to try and divert his attention to elsewhere.

They were guided to a small, round table in the corner of the room. Light spilled over the wooden surface from a nearby window, and as they sat down, they found the seats warm from the sun. Yugyeom placed the menus in front of them, then stood back with his hands interlaced in front of him.

“Just come up to the counter when you’re ready to order.” He bowed his head and left them alone. As soon as he was gone, Bambam raised his eyebrows at Youngjae.  
“What? You can’t talk about your problems here?” His friend absently glanced down at the menu, his eyes flicking between options.  
“What do you think? What if he hears me?” Bambam looked back, finding Yugyeom already totally engrossed in a conversation with a few other customers.  
“I don’t even need to argue against that. What’s bothering you?”

Bambam turned back hesitantly, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know, I just- I don’t know how to feel. Ever since Mark said something, I’ve had this… type of feeling…”  
“Curiosity?”  
Bambam nodded. “But I don’t really swing that way- you know? At least, I never have before. Why would I start now? Isn’t that a bit weird?”   
Youngjae was pressing his lips together to hold back a smile.   
“I’m not saying that being gay is weird-“ He hurried to try and correct himself.  
“I know what you mean. Well, it couldn’t hurt to try, right? You don’t have to jump in and confess feelings that you’re unsure about. You could just have some ‘trials’ to see how you feel- spend some time with him.”  
“I have spent time with him.” Bambam tilted his head in confusion.  
“Have you spent time with him since Mark told you, and since you started questioning yourself?” Youngjae rose a brow, and Bambam sat in a pensive silence.  
“No.” He eventually said.  
“There you go. You have to try doing something that isn’t just as ‘bros,’ if you know what I mean. Anyway-” he held up his menu, “-did you pick something?”

Bambam looked down, fumbling with the menu as he realised that he still had to order something. He shuffled through it quickly and chose something random, then gave it to Youngjae, who went up to order. While he was alone, Bambam traced the crevices of the table, lost in random thought. Random thoughts that always spiralled back to Yugyeom. It was impossible to try and control himself, to try and tell his thoughts to stray from the topic. He looked back over to the register, Youngjae and Yugyeom were looking over at him, then Yugyeom nodded with a wide smile. He handed Youngjae his receipt, then thanked him once more. Bambam frowned- what was that about?

His friend came back to the table, sitting down with a small sigh. He placed the receipt on the table so that he could see the number at the bottom of it.   
“What were you talking about?” Bambam asked after a moment of delayed hesitance.   
“Oh… I asked him if he wanted to come out to dinner with us all tonight. I’ll have to ask Mark when he gets home, but it should be fine. You can come, of course?” The way Youngjae said it made Bambam think there was something beyond just dinner plans. It felt like a ploy.  
“Yeah.” Was all he replied with- he was probably just being paranoid.

\--

Once they got back from the coffee shop, they spent the day individually relaxing. Bambam managed to be engrossed in three different movies by flicking through channels, while Youngjae made some sort of effort to clean his room. Yugyeom came home at midday but quickly busied himself in his own room with a notepad and a glazed-over look. When asked what he was doing, he simply replied with ‘winter menu.’

They didn’t start getting ready until Mark stepped through the door. As soon as he did, Youngjae asked him if he wanted to come along and received a prompt but mildly exhausted yes. Mark didn’t have to get ready, he was already in moderately formal attire after a day of work. However, Youngjae still dragged him off into their bedroom with a suspicious side glance at Bambam.

Definitely plotting something.

“Bambam, do you want to go for a shower first?” Yugyeom called from the bedroom, poking his head out of a crack in the door.   
“No, it’s okay. You can go.” Bambam replied dismissively, his eyes still locked on the TV screen.

Yugyeom went back into their room and entered the small but convenient en-suite, trying not to think too much of Bambam’s slight change in behaviour. He turned the shower on, but his thoughts were elsewhere. He wondered if Bambam was okay, if everything was working out well for him. He thought about the fact that he didn’t know much about the gamer’s family or life outside of his job, nor did he know much about other friends or troubles that he faced. He wondered what Bambam thought of Yugyeom- whether the barista’s love was one-sided, or whether it would eventually evolve past that.

His eyes widened as he snapped out of his thoughts- how long had the water been running for? He finished up quickly as to not waste any more water, then jumped out. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he went back into the bedroom and tried to find some formal trousers. After searching through piles of clothing, he finally found ones that fit him.

“Bambam,” he called again, “you can come have a shower now.”

Now the challenge was to find a shirt- black worked with black, didn’t it?

Bambam heard Yugyeom, and stood with a very drawn out groan. He had been comfortable. The gamer moved towards the room and entered, not thinking much of it as the door swung open. As soon as he looked up, his eyes landed on Yugyeom, his heart stopping in his chest. He was stuck in silence, analysing every part of Yugyeom’s upper body; who the hell let him go to gym? And when? Tattoos? That didn’t even make any sense?

“Are you okay?” Yugyeom shattered his thoughts- but not really, he was still staring at the pale but incredibly defined pecs. He was like- hulk, if hulk was pasty, and skinnier; and a model.  
“What- oh, uh…” Bambam forced himself to tear his eyes away from the other, “yeah, I’m fine. Shower time, I guess.” His voice rose ever so slightly, threatening to crack.

He coughed and made his way into the bathroom whilst staring down at the floor. The other man just watched him curiously, until the door slammed shut. Yugyeom raised an eyebrow, then glanced down at himself. Was something wrong with his body? Perhaps he should go to gym more… he thought he had lost most of that extra fat. With a huff, he went off to find his shirt.

It took half an hour for everyone to get ready, then they were off in Mark’s car. Youngjae looked like a rich technology company owner; dressed in a black turtleneck, accompanied by a blue denim jacket and pristine white jeans. It was a look that suited him when his hair was parted in the centre. Mark, on the other hand, wore a much more traditional formal look; the white business shirt and black trousers, but dared accompany it with a silver blazer and tie while slicking his hair back- likely an extra that Youngjae added so Mark didn’t look like he had come straight from work. Yugyeom didn’t have any fancy flairs- no spikes of colour or jewellery, he just wore long-sleeved button-up black shirt and matching black trousers. He left two buttons undone, just to try something new, which was an aspect easily noticed by Bambam.

“Yugyeom, your buttons…” Bambam had gotten inches away from the other, reaching up to do Yugyeom’s buttons back up. There had been silence; Yuygyeom was surprisingly flustered, and Bambam didn’t notice their proximity until he had completed the task and met eyes with the other. In an awkward second, the gamer had recoiled and walked off after a moment of supressed flailing. Yugyeom watched him go, begging his heart to calm down from its rampant behaviour.

The gamer had, by far, the weirdest fashion sense, but it was one that suited him. He wore a burgundy suit with a singlet beneath the blazer, so the collarbone and a small portion of his chest was exposed. To accompany that, some gold dress shoes, a gold watch- and despite it being night, a pair of gold sunglasses. If anyone else dared to tie the outfit together, and make it work, it would be an incredible failure. However, with Bambam’s slicked back hair and a tiny bit of gloss on his lips, he looked frightfully good.

Now that they were in the car, Bambam and Yugyeom sat in the back, stuck in a silence that neither of them addressed; Yugyeom would glance over at Bambam, who would do everything in his power to keep his eyes glued to the window. Youngjae and Mark talked between themselves, so the barista tried to focus on them more than the quiet man beside him. Maybe something really was wrong; he could’ve gotten bad news today?

“So, we’re going to a restaurant in the centre of town- it’s really popular, and kind of expensive, but I thought it would be nice to have a break from working all the time.” Youngjae spoke loudly so the two could hear him, unable to hide the sliver of excitement in his voice.  
“We’ve been there before, haven’t we?” Mark asked, and Youngjae shook his head.  
“It’s a new one. It’ll be a first for all of us.”

Yugyeom couldn’t help feeling an uneasy feeling in his chest as the two conversed- they seemed too excited to eat food, too excited to arrive at the place.

\--

The restaurant had a line-up that winded down the street, and another line for reservations. The small group stood in the reservation line which was decreasing slowly. The air was frosty around them, causing the group to jig ever so slightly to try and warm up. It wasn’t until they got closer to the front that Youngjae started coughing, causing Mark to rush to his side like a nervous mother.  
“Will you be okay to eat? Are you still sick? This weather isn’t helping either…” Mark patted his back gently to try stop him from choking.  
“I don’t know…” another coughing fit, “I’m still feeling a bit nauseous.”

He looked up at Bambam with an apologetic expression. “You and Yugyeom can go in, I think it’s best if Mark and I don’t come.”  
“Why not? Are you seriously sick?” Bambam tilted his head in concern.  
Youngjae nodded. “I’ll get Mark to take me home.”

The line moved up, and Youngjae waved at them dismissively. “We’ll see you when you get home, okay?”

He didn’t wait for a response, he hurried to clutch onto Mark’s arm and hobble off. Bambam watched them, then turned to Yugyeom with parted lips. He looked like he wanted to say something, then stopped himself.  
“Was that real?” Yugyeom murmured, still facing where Youngjae had left from.   
“Yeah, I think so,” Bambam’s eyes went to the front of the line, “he just gets a bit like that- what with it being cold and all. Come on; let’s just try enjoy ourselves, okay?”

Was Youngjae actually sick? Bambam suspected that he was just faking it- the gleam in his eyes from the café told him otherwise. It seemed suspiciously like a plot for a date, and Bambam wasn’t sure what to make of it. He glanced back over at Yugyeom, his eyes briefly scanning the man’s side profile, running along his jawline and the way his nose jutted out ever so slightly. He dropped his gaze; no, it was just a friendly outing in which Youngjae and Mark couldn’t stay. That was all.

They reached the front, stated their reservation, and followed a lady inside. Bambam looked around as they made their way to the table- of course, the lighting was dimmed and so scarce that it was difficult to make out faces in the crowds of people. Vines lined the tops of the walls, dotted by flowers that were possibly white, while each corner of the room had a small, trickling waterfall. They were seated at a table along the wall, with a glowing candle between them. After being given menus, the lady left.

It had definitely been a ploy. A table for two? He let out a small huff. This was so damn gay- it was like a date. It was a date. A date with Yugyeom. Definitely not a friendly type of thing. Yugyeom seemed to notice as well, but also seemed to be less opposed to it. It didn’t seem like Yugyeom had been a part of the plans.

“It’s nice in here. Not as… cosy as the café but- I suppose it’s meant to be more of a high-class type of restaurant.” Yugyeom said, more to himself than anyone else as he looked around.  
“I think I prefer the café.” Bambam replied quietly, causing Yugyeom to refocus on him and reply with a large grin.

The barista was being nice. Of course the café was better in his eyes. A tiny building where every ounce of love could be seen and tasted, a tiny building in which every customer felt treasured and a part of some sort of community. When compared to a restaurant where every smile was a code of conduct and every customer was just a money resource, the café was a haven.

They ordered when the waitress eventually came back with water, providing them with another thing to pointlessly occupy themselves with. Both were lost in thought, trying to come up with small talk type topics that could branch into more conversation.

“Have you thought of getting any pets?” Yugyeom eventually broke the awkward silence, resting his chin on his hand.  
Bambam hummed. “I always thought it would be cool to get cats, but Youngjae’s allergic so I’d have to get a hairless one or move out.”   
“You don’t like hairless cats?”  
Bambam paused. “No- I do, it’s just that I can’t find anyone selling one right now. Well, I haven’t actually looked in a while, to be honest.”   
“Should I buy you one for your birthday?” Yugyeom smiled again, causing Bambam’s heart to falter.  
“As I said-“  
“It’s your job to spend all the money and not get anything in return? That’s not happening.” Yugyeom cut him off, creating a staring (perhaps glaring) contest between the two until they eventually had to stop from their eyes watering.

Another half an hour of back and forth conversations that would end in either a joke or a lapse of thought passed, and then their food arrived. It was surprisingly quick, considering how busy the restaurant was. They swapped bits and pieces, one would occasionally lean over and steal a bit of food while risking the health of their hand, in case the other retaliated with their fork. It was like watching children trying to eat- constantly jabbing at each other and swapping out disliked foods with something else from the other person’s plate.

They left fairly quickly after finishing their food, surprised to find that the tab had already been paid for. Bambam could feel his heart becoming more and more uncertain. The idea of dessert elsewhere had been proposed, and now they were walking down the street, in a comfortable silence. Bambam could notice Yugyeom’s presence, could take in the small details even when he wasn’t looking at him. It disturbed him; the fact that he could feel the barista’s warmth, the fact that he seemed to be the only one who noticed when their shoulders touched, or when their walking was in sync.

They went into a corner shop and grabbed their favourite ice creams; well, Yugyeom chose an icy pole, but it was a minor detail. Bambam paid despite the barista’s attempts to interfere, then they were back outside again.

“Where do you want to sit? It’s kind of cold so…” Bambam looked around at the lit-up streets, the parties of people roaming around. It didn’t seem ideal to sit anywhere near here.   
“I know a place. We’ll just have to sit close together.” Yugyeom said excitedly, gently latching on to Bambam’s wrist and whisking him away.

They went down a series of alleyways, a maze of streets, and up a flight of stairs. Bambam’s attention was focused on Yugyeom’s hand, his head was desperately fighting off urges to pull away and instead hold it. That wasn’t friendly. At all.

Yugyeom took him up to a lookout, on the edge of the city where thousands of companies and homes were visible just by the light they gave off. It was magical; in an industrial, modern type of way. It was a clear night, the pollution and presence of other light contested and blocked out the brightness of the stars, but that was another minor detail easily ignored.

They both panted softly, stopped just before a metal rail that would likely be colder than ice. Their breath curled off into steamy patterns; water settled in the bottom of their eyes to combat the air.   
“We should’ve gotten something hot.” Yugyeom whispered, a very small smile on his face.  
“Yeah.” Was all Bambam said in reply.

They stood in silence for a little longer, entranced by the view before them. Bambam glanced over at Yugyeom, fascinated by the way the lights reflected in his eyes. It disappeared once Yugyeom looked back over at him. Now, he could feel his heart steadily picking up. He could feel the tension, the possibilities that surrounded him. He became painfully aware of the feelings in his heart, and painfully aware of how much he wanted to ignore them.

His eyes dropped to the barista’s lips, the silence was becoming an invitation. It was something they were both anticipating, something they were both expecting. Bambam could see it- could almost taste and feel Yugyeom’s lips against his. If only he was a bit closer… the gamer pulled himself back from his urges in a frantic flurry.

“We should go check on Youngjae. See if they got home okay.” He blurted out, spinning away from Yugyeom with his heel. He pulled out his phone, desperately tapping anything to make himself seem busy.

The barista felt his heart jump and then sink- if the heart could fall into someone’s feet, then his heart was surely in the very top of his toes. He had just been rejected again. His throat went dry, he tried to sniff back the tears that were quickly forming; partially because of the explosion of emotions in his chest, and partially because of the cold that hit his skin. So- it really was going to be a one-sided love. He couldn’t do that again. He couldn’t be hurt again, just like with Jinyoung, he couldn’t voluntary put himself through it.  
   
“I’ll call a taxi.” He spoke quietly, walking away from Bambam and starting back down the stairs. If he was going to cry, it had to at least be where the other couldn’t see him. He didn’t have the strength to give up on Bambam, unless he didn’t have a choice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE FINAL ONE IS HERE YIKES
> 
> So sorry for the wait, I was trying to write and then rewrite and then edit,,, and re-edit...
> 
> Thanks to all of the active readers who have been following this story the whole way through; it's somehow nearly been 6 months. I'll miss this fic immensely, but I'm also kind of relieved to have it done. I hope the ending is up to standard, and no one is mad that there was no hardcore smut or something like that lol
> 
> As always, enjoy reading~

Bambam stood in the office, his back pressed into the door and his face hidden by his hands. His heart was beating loudly, thrumming against his chest like a staggering motor. Yugyeom had returned home about half an hour ago, had said nothing, and disappeared into his room. It had been a struggle the whole day for the gamer; he couldn’t get the barista out of his head.

Two weeks had passed since their ‘date’, and it had gotten to the point where Bambam’s feelings were consuming him. It had gotten to a point of acceptance; his feelings were how they were, he was how he was, and he knew one thing for certain. He knew that no matter how hard he tried, he wasn’t able to distance himself from Yugyeom anymore.

It was just a matter of getting to tell him. The first step, he supposed, was to get out of this damn room. He turned slowly, hesitant to act upon it. His fingers found the knob, and they twisted it without instruction. He stepped around it once it was open and took in a long breath. He stopped as soon as he was outside; there was someone standing right there.

His eyes drifted upwards to where Yugyeom was standing, outside the bedroom door, carrying a cardboard box between his arms. The barista met his gaze, and they stood there in silence. Bambam’s heart dropped, confusion bubbling in his head as his focus switched to the box. The lights were off, so it was difficult to tell what was in there but he could clearly see the orchid sticking out. The orchid that Bambam had given him.

“Yugyeom?” He looked back at the barista in question, his motor heart was truly staggering now. Whirring, tripping over itself.  
“I was going to come and say goodbye after I put this in the truck…” He trailed off, his voice was thick with hurt, and the sentence ended with a sniffle- the man had been recently crying.  
Bambam found himself stepping forward slightly, his hand releasing the doorknob. “What do you mean-?”  
“I have to go, Bambam. I-“ he shuffled his feet, “-thank you for having me for this amount of time, and… and taking care of me. I really appreciate everything. It’s hard for me to say this, but…”

Bambam watched on, his eyes glazing over with tears that threatened to fall in response to the other’s crying. He couldn’t process it very easily, but it was obvious that Yugyeom was leaving to somewhere.

“I really like you Bambam- no, I love you. But in saying that, I can’t… I can’t stay here and let it happen again. A one direction relationship, I can’t bear it. With Jinyoung…it felt completely useless. I was tearing myself apart, for absolutely nothing. If that happens again…” Yugyeom took in a shaky breath and shook his head.  
“Yugyeom-“ he tried.   
“Anyway, I’m just saying goodbye. I can’t cry again. Thank you and goodbye.” The barista shuffled awkwardly towards the front door, and Bambam was suddenly reminded of the distant man that he had first made friends with. He was suddenly remembering what they had once been- he remembered all of the times that he would leave his computer to ‘get a coffee’. He remembered Yugyeom crying, he remembered reassuring the man when he was hurt. He remembered Jinyoung; and suddenly, Bambam was opening his mouth, his voice rising in his throat.

“Yugy-“

A car horn blasted through the night, and just like that, Yugyeom was gone.

After a minute of standing alone in that piercing silence, Bambam felt his knees give out. They hit the floor with a dull thud. When the door reopened, Bambam had his head dropped as tears lazily drifted down his arms and face. Mark and Youngjae entered slowly, returning from a dinner, immediately quietened by the alarming noise of sobs. It was like a choking animal, gasping for air every few seconds. Their attention went to the figure just outside of the office, Mark reached up hesitantly for the light switch.

_Click._ Light spilled over the room, and their strange figure was revealed.

Youngjae gasped. “Bam?” He ran to the man’s side, crouching beside him and pulling him into his arms. Mark watched on in a stunned silence. It was the first time he had seen the gamer cry, and it was nearly impossible for the man to feel a mildly negative emotion.

Mark approached slowly and kneeled, patting Bambam’s shoulder. “What happened? We saw Yugyeom leaving but…”

Youngjae had his face buried into Bambam’s hair, his arms were tense from how tightly he was holding his friend. His cries had died down slightly, mainly because they were being stifled by Youngjae’s clothes. Mark knew that Bambam wouldn’t reply for a while, so he stood up again and looked around with a sharp intake of breath.

Yugyeom had walked out with a box, it hadn’t been full, but it was definitely heavy enough to have a decent amount in it. He had clambered into the passenger seat of a red pick-up truck and driven off without ever even seeing Mark or Youngjae. Had he been crying? Mark couldn’t remember.

He went into Yugyeom’s room to confirm his suspicions and was met by exactly what he thought. A room that had once been splashed in colour, messy in an odd sort of way with clothes and reusable bags, was now practically empty. The furniture remained, but it was as if someone had applied a black and white filter over everything. The bed was freshly made, but with only pillow, it cried out in loneliness. The cupboard was closed, but Mark didn’t need to open it to know that Yugyeom’s clothes wouldn’t be there. The only reminder that Yugyeom had even existed were the comic books stacked on a bookshelf in the corner, and the wooden lamp that Bambam had given him resting on the bedside table.

He sighed and leaned on the doorframe. Yugyeom had become a close friend to him. Every car ride in the morning had become something fun, something that even the severe city traffic couldn’t dampen. They had shared jokes and stories, insecurities and feelings. Mark thought of Yugyeom as a younger brother, but now he was gone. Sure, he could go see him in the coffee shop but surely that would be awkward.

“It’s all gone, isn’t it?” Bambam’s voice was quiet, raspy, wavering- but it was there.  
Mark turned, saw the man looking up at him from Youngjae’s arms, and nodded slowly. He half expected the gamer to burst out into a fresh set of tears, but all he did was let his eyes fall to the floor.

The three sat in silence, each with their regrets, thoughts and memories; it didn’t seem like the barista would be back, and that- that felt like a robbery.

\--

He spent his nights away from his computer, instead wrapping himself in the sheets that had quickly lost the scent of Yugyeom or burying himself in the couch while the TV buzzed pointlessly in the background. If he wasn’t crying, he was coming up with ways to try and solve it, but each ended badly. Of course, he had to talk to the barista but that didn’t seem to be possible. Any time he tried, he was deferred to someone else who was working.

It was depressing, but he could feel the lack of his presence everywhere. He went to the shops and caught himself getting emotional over a recyclable bag. He went home and found himself irritated that his room was so plain. He couldn’t even enjoy coffee, it seemed different. It didn’t seem right; nothing seemed right.

A day passed, and then several more. Yugyeom lost count by the time it hit over a month. He stayed in Jaebum’s flat, after asking his boss if he could crash until he found his own place. He was given the couch and a thick blanket, which would be enough if his legs didn’t dangle off the armrest. His stuff was hidden in the corner of the main room, except for the orchid, which he was allowed to keep near the window. Jaebum didn’t ask questions, since he detected the topic was something sensitive for his worker.

The coffee shop hired a few new staff, that could replace Yugyeom should he need it. They kept Yugyeom busy with questions and mistakes, but the barista found it too hard to ever fully distract himself from his thoughts.

A few days after he had left, Bambam had stopped by at exactly 10am. Yugyeom had one of the new staff serving customers, while he made coffee in the background.  
“What can I get for you today?” His junior asked, but was only met by complete silence.  
“Sir?” The junior tried again, then turned to Yugyeom with troubled eyes.

Yugyeom looked at his junior, understood that he was having difficulties, then up to meet the gaze of the gamer. Well- he assumed it was the gamer. He looked completely deprived of sleep, and sick in a way. His lips were cracked, his eyes glazed over and blood shot. The barista stopped what he was doing, unable to drop his eyes, as his heart rate escalated. His body was telling him that this was equivalent to a marathon- and perhaps it wasn’t wrong.

“Yugyeom?” His junior was turning between them, completely confused.

The barista let his hands drop, then his eyes. He struggled for a second, then turned around, spinning on his heels.   
“I’m going on my ten.” Was all he said, speeding off into the staff toilets. He wasn’t able to help his junior, he didn’t have any solution for the behaviour either.

As soon as he was inside with the door locked, he let himself carefully slide down to the floor. Tears were threatening him, but he shook his head repeatedly to try and stop it. He was at work- this was hardly professional. He hated himself; his heart was broken, and yet, he felt some sort of pain to see Bambam like that. All he wanted to do was to try and forget, to try and move on, but it didn’t work when Bambam showed up at his work like he had. He wanted to take care of him and tell him that it would be okay, but it wasn’t even okay for Yugyeom- how could it be okay for someone else?

Over the course of a month, Bambam’s visited once more, then stopped. The barista didn’t know whether to feel sad or worried about him, so he tried not to feel anything. He had left so that he didn’t have to think about Bambam, it didn’t make sense if he started worrying about him now. He eventually decided, though, in one night of his boredom, that he needed to get the rest of his stuff. Of course, he wanted to do so without having to see the gamer and getting reminded of his feelings, which meant something would need to be prearranged with Mark or Youngjae.

The night was cold, so he pulled the blanket over his head and texted beneath the covers. He bit his lip as he typed in Youngjae’s contact, backspaced several times, then typed in Mark’s. It wouldn’t matter who he texted, they would share with each other anyway.

It took him many tries to type out an appropriate text, and every time he messed it up, he would shake his head in frustration.   
“Hey Mark, I was wondering if I could stop by some time to pick up the rest of my stuff. I know it’s a bit of a hassle but… I was wondering if I could do so without having to see Bambam? Do you know if we could arrange that?” He finally decided and sent it off, his eyes scanning the ‘delivered’ icon.   
An answer came about fifteen minutes later. “I’ll be sad to see you go completely :( but yes, we can arrange that. I understand if you don’t want to stay. If you want to come around tomorrow, we can send him out to get something for us. He’s a bit clueless lately, so anything will work. Come around when work finishes?”  
Yugyeom thought for a moment. “Okay, will be there at 2. Thanks.”

After shutting his phone off, he let out a long sigh. What did Mark mean by clueless? Yugyeom had seen him at work, he had been all out of sorts, was he still like that? He felt a pang of guilt but tried to dismiss it so that he could sleep.

\--

He arrived outside of their house at around 1:50pm, hoping that Bambam would be gone by that time. The steps seemed to double as he climbed them; it was just his anxiety conflicting with his logic. He had about a thousand ‘what ifs’ floating around in his head. What if Bambam was still home? What if the gamer had gotten somewhat angry and just thrown his stuff out? That seemed unreasonable, Bambam wouldn’t be like that.

He rose his fist to knock once he had reached the door, then dropped it again. He was even anxious to see Youngjae. He hadn’t texted him for ages, he hadn’t seen him for an even longer time. If Bambam hadn’t fixed himself up, and was still the same mess that he had been at the coffee shop, wouldn’t Youngjae be mad with Yugyeom? If Yugyeom was still living here, Bambam would be fine… right?

He went to turn away, went to descend the stairs, but stopped himself. It was fine. It was going to be okay; even if Bambam was there, it would be okay. These ‘what ifs’ were unreasonable, and completely off the character of both Youngjae and Bambam. A few short breaths to reassure himself and he was raising his fist again. One soft knock, then another.

By the time he dropped his fist, Youngjae had opened the door. Neither of them spoke, Youngjae just smiled sadly and moved to the side, allowing the barista inside.

His eyes drifted around the familiar surroundings. The curtains were closed, so the only light came from the shreds of sunlight that managed to slip beneath them. The office door was open, a dim flashing was the only sign of life in there. Likely one of Youngjae’s games. The living room looked, to be frank, trashed. The cushions from the couch were sprawled across the floor and several empty mugs sat atop the coffee table. There was a creased blanket across one of the couches, pulled back at the top.

Youngjae noticed his gaze and laughed nervously. “Sorry, we haven’t had much time to clean up, plus Bambam has overtaken the living room. He was sleeping in his room but… something about insomnia.” He finished quietly- sure that he was just going to make Yugyeom feel bad. He wasn’t wrong.

Bambam’s room was open, so Yugyeom made his way there. He tried not to gasp as he entered, so the stifled product sounded more like a grunt. It reeked of popcorn almost immediately, and there was a hoard of energy drinks on one of the bedside tables. Some had been knocked over and then fallen onto the carpet, while others were stacked in an attempt of chaotic organisation. He felt an immense sadness swelling in his heart as he approached the bed and pulled back the sheet. There were still creases from where Bambam had once slept, as well as a few popcorn kernels among it all.

“He’s not okay, is he?” Yugyeom looked over to the door, where Youngjae was standing. He had his arm crossed, watching Yugyeom’s reaction with the same sadness.  
The man just shook his head in reply, unsure of what else to say. He couldn’t lie, nor could he make the barista feel bad. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

It took him a moment to collect himself. He still loved Bambam, dearly. This way of living was unhealthy for both mental and physical states, and he didn’t want to see the gamer hurt. Why was he hurt anyway? Perhaps a lost friendship. With that reminder- that they had only ever been just friends- Yugyeom turned to the bookshelf and let out a long sigh.

\--

Bambam meandered around the corner shop, looking at the grocery list but never really processing it. He picked up things, put them back, and picked them up again. By the time he left, he didn’t know if he managed to even get the majority of stuff. He was tired, he just wanted to get home. At least he bought stuff for himself; more energy drinks, more sleeping pills. Some chocolate that he knew he wouldn’t eat but he also knew that someone would.

He checked his phone, 2:08. It was the perfect time for a nap.

The walk back to the house was only about three minutes, and as soon as he opened the front door, he saw Youngjae.   
“I got the stuff you wanted.” He murmured, going into the kitchen and placing the bag down on the counter. He only looked back up at his friend when he didn’t reply. He was standing in Bambam’s doorway, watching him with wide, fearful eyes.   
“What?”  
The man just shook his head slowly.   
“I know I look like shit, so what is it?” Bambam raised his brows, still not getting a response. He heard something hit the floor in his room.

A pang of fear, a pang of suspicion, a pang of hope. Mixed together- he had no clue what was happening. Who or what was in there? Youngjae’s arms were crossed, and in this moment, he looked eerily close to a bouncer.

Bambam approached him, and then entered the room. His friend couldn’t stop him, so he didn’t try. As soon as he went in, his heart stopped. His eyes landed on Yugyeom, who was looking right at him. Yugyeom who was as perfect as he had been when he had left, Yugyeom who hadn’t aged a day. In comparison, the gamer felt completely destroyed. Yugyeom blinked, not standing or moving from his crouched position.

“I think the lack of sleep is getting to me. I’m hallucinating about Yugyeom now.” Bambam turned back to Youngjae, who pursed his lips and dropped his gaze to the carpet.  
“It’s not a hallucination.” Youngjae stated finally.

When Bambam turned back to Yugyeom, it was with a shred of hope in his eyes.  
“Sorry. I tried to come when you wouldn’t be here. I just wanted to get the rest of my stuff.” Yugyeom tried to smile but ended up just turning back to the bookshelf. He still didn’t move though, the pressure from Bambam’s gaze was getting worse and worse.

Youngjae took the cue, by the fact that Bambam wasn’t leaving, and left himself. There was the quiet click of the office door shutting, otherwise it was silent.

Yugyeom sucked in a sharp breath and slowly stood. “Look, Bambam-“

There was not a single thought as the gamer opened his mouth to speak. Perhaps one would be considering what they wanted to say, or how they wanted to say it, but this situation was one that Bambam had ran through thousands of times before. He had no tact, nor did he feel the need for tact. He had honesty, and that was it.

“I love you.” Bambam blurted out, cutting off the barista. His voice was loudly spreading across the apartment, so that even the Youngjae who had retreated to his computer could hear it.

About two months of torture all boiled down to this moment, and Bambam felt the weight on his heart rising away. The three words that he had intended to tell Yugyeom that night; the three words that had been cruelly stifled in his mouth. He was finally free from them.

The barista was just watching him, his lips still parted from what he was going to previously say. His eyebrow twitched, a sign of his processing. From Yugyeom’s eyes, this confession was not something fake, nor was it something to be taken lightly. The barista’s departure seemed to have completely destroyed Bambam in every sense. His body had become thinner, his face paler. His sleep, from what he had heard, had been badly affected and he had trouble even doing his job.

Yugyeom wanted to speak. He wanted to let a smile come to his face. The heart that had made its way to his toes was slowly coming back up, he could feel his brain buzzing with the three words. The words had become the gamer’s prison, and now that he was free, he felt himself finally able to talk.

“I planned to tell you on the night that you left. I thought about it after our date; every night I thought about it. Even with Youngjae and Mark around me, I never considered what it would be like to be gay, and I was never even open to the topic. It’s my own fault that it ended up like this, if I had said it earlier then everything would’ve worked out a little better.” Bambam’s voice was firm, tripping over every few moments, as if he was desperately fighting off the need to cry.  
“You were meant to tell me earlier?” Yugyeom’s thoughts dashed back to the gamer saying his name over and over, getting cut off over and over. Guilt rose in his chest.  
“Yeah.” Bambam couldn’t stop himself from laughing a little, the relief was too much to supress.   
“Then it’s kind of my fault too. Sorry Bambam- for putting you through all this.” Yugyeom dropped his eyes, a smile still touched his face at the sound of Bambam’s laugh.  
“Me too,” he paused, “I’m sorry for putting you through all of this too.”

They stood there, distanced in the same room for a few more minutes, before Bambam let out a sigh.  
“Will you move back in?”  
“I don’t know if-“  
“If we’ll have you back? Of course, that’s why I’m asking you. Would you please move back in, Yugyeom? I need you here.” The final part was added as a quick afterthought, in an attempt to be somewhat romantic.

The barista smiled again, then started to cry. Every emotion over the past month welled up in his eyes and came flowing down his cheeks; the loneliness, the pure sadness, and now, the happiness. The euphoria of being accepted back, and for the reason that he wanted. Not as a friend, as something more. He could be something more for Bambam, and Bambam could be something more for him.

The gamer looked at him with concern, thinking that he said something wrong. Was the romance too much of a stretch? He slowly went over to Yugyeom, making his way through loose pillows and empty cans. As soon as he reached the other man, he pulled him into a tight hug. His heart jumped when he felt Yugyeom hugging him back, when he felt his shoulder dampen slightly from the man’s tears.

Every moment that they had spent together seemed like it had led to this, and Bambam was genuinely happy that it hadn’t gone a different way. Yugyeom was coming back as his; Yugyeom was coming back to into his life as his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 7 chapters and over 20000 words; it was a good journey. Feel free to check out my other fanfics: Withering Spring (BTS) and God's Bidder (GOT7). If you'd otherwise like to keep updated on any new fics, or myself as a writer, follow my twitter @sekki_nim
> 
> THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE SUPPORT!


	8. Christmas Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't posted on here in a long time, yeesh. I felt like writing something Christmas themed, and what better story to do that with than brb coffee? So, here it is.
> 
> I hope everyone had a great Christmas and enjoyed their time with family and friends. Hope to see you all next year for some new fics!
> 
> Thanks for reading, Merry Christmas! :)

“Yugyeom, you can go home now. It’s Christmas. You shouldn’t be at work any longer.” Jaebum inclined his head towards the door, earning a concerned look from his worker.  
“What if it gets busier again?”  
“Yugyeom,” Jaebum gave him a deadpan gaze, “it’s 3am, the only way it would get busy at this hour would be if a flurry of coffee addicts burst through all at one time, begging for their thirst to be quenched. Do you think that would happen?”  
There was a fraction of silence, where Yugyeom stopped wiping the counter for a moment to let the situation go through his mind. “No, but-“  
“No. So go home.”

Yugyeom huffed, finally having been convinced. He still completed the task he was working on and hung his apron up as usual, then started to shuffle towards the door.  
“Oh- Yugyeom.” Jaebum stopped him in his tracks, holding up a neatly wrapped present.  
“What’s this for?” Yugyeom looked at the tiny box with curiosity, then back at Jaebum who was visibly not used to giving people things.  
“Just an end of year thank you. You got me a whole new set of mugs, so it was the least I could do.” Jaebum pushed it forward a little further, until Yugyeom accepted it with a small nod.  
“Well, thank you. Merry Christmas.” He mustered up a smile for his boss, who bowed his head ever so slightly as a reply.

Yugyeom pushed the door open and stepped into the snow, then immediately regretted it and stuffed his bare hands in his jean pockets, along with the box. Bambam would be terrifically mad if he had of known Yugyeom left without gloves, but he just wasn’t bothered at the time. He had a puffer jacket, beanie, scarf and just about every other winter item that could deliver him warmth. Gloves seemed like too much, but now he regretted it.

He started to push his way through the slowly building layers of snow on the path, without going so fast that he would slip and fall because of the ice. His eyes caught sight of a pair of headlights approaching from in front of him, and he became even more curious as they started to slow to an eventual halt right beside him. He squinted for a moment, trying to make out the people inside, when the backseat window rolled down and a very familiar face peaked out.

Bambam. Then the front window rolled down and showcased a very wary-eyed Youngjae. He could easily guess that Mark was in the driver’s seat, though he didn’t know how awake he would even be.

“Quick, quick, get in before you freeze to death.” Bambam opened his door and shuffled across so that Yugyeom could have his seat.  
Yugyeom, not refusing the opportunity for a warm ride home, climbed in and sighed once the heater hit him. “Good morning everyone.” He spoke quietly, as the windows rolled up and Mark started to drive away.  
“Merry Christmas.” Youngjae half mumbled, half yawned, whilst Mark nodded.  
“Bambam wanted to come pick you up because he said it was too cold and he couldn’t let his,” Mark cleared his throat, “tall but small, coffee master, barista baby suffer on Christmas day.” He looked back in the mirror, locking eyes with Bambam who just sheepishly grinned.  
“So you all came?” Yugyeom asked as Bambam settled in and rested his head on the barista’s shoulder.  
“Yeah. Though I thought Youngjae should’ve stayed at home…” Mark trailed off as Youngjae shot him a look.  
“We’re going to see Christmas lights too, I’m not going to miss those.”

Yugyeom couldn’t help but smile at the recently wed couple. They always seem to have these sorts of ‘playfights’ where Mark was concerned but Youngjae wanted to seem tougher than he was. The barista could almost guarantee that Youngjae would fall asleep during their Christmas light expedition.

Bambam stuck his hand in Yugyeom’s pocket, cold skin meeting another cold hand. The gamer looked at his boyfriend in dismay.  
“Gloves.” He said simply, earning a shrug from the man, “You have to. If you get a cold, I’ll be mad.”  
Yugyeom grinned. “Next time, I will. I promise.”

Bambam seemed content with that, until he came across the box from Jaebum. “What’s that?”  
“Jaebum gave me a present.” He pulled the box out and showed the gift to Bambam, who raised a brow.  
“You should open it.”  
“Here?”  
Bambam nodded eagerly. “I want to see at least one present before the main event.”  
Yugyeom shrugged- he had to admit, he was kind of curious himself. Jaebum never got him anything, and this was the first year he had received a gift. He tugged at the ends of the paper until they were loose, then tried his best to remove the wrapping without tearing it too much. He could tell that if it were Bambam’s present, the man would’ve done anything to get through the paper as quick as possible. Teeth might’ve even been utilized.

It was a white box. When Yugyeom took off the lid, he let out a tiny gasp of joy.  
“What is it?” Mark asked from the front seat, having followed the conversation quietly.  
“It’s a little coffee cup. Like a takeout one. It has the coffee shop’s design on it, but it’s glass.” Yugyeom was beaming as he pulled it out of the box and analysed it in the terrible light of the car. Jaebum must’ve designed it himself, and to him, that was the most heartfelt thing about the gift. It was adorable.

\--

An hour or so later they were home, with a softly snoring Youngjae in the front seat and a lightly dozing Bambam on Yugyeom’s shoulder. Mark turned around to Yugyeom, a twinge of a smile in the corner of his mouth as he glanced at Bambam.  
“These two wanted to unwrap presents once they got home, and then chucked a tantrum when I said they’d likely be asleep.”  
Yugyeom laughed quietly, feeling Bambam stir slightly against him. “That was fairly predictable, I guess.”

The two sleeping men were carried upstairs, Youngjae wrapped in a tight burrito whilst Yugyeom had to simply pull Bambam closer to his chest so that the man wouldn’t be as cold. Inside it was still cold, but Mark had turned the bedroom heaters on before they left, so that was a simple relief that Yugyeom was thankful for.

Mark mouthed goodnight before disappearing into his bedroom, so Yugyeom was left with Bambam clinging onto his neck with his face in the man’s chest.  
“We gotta do presents.” Bambam murmured, opening one eye and glancing up at his boyfriend.  
“They will still be there when we wake up.” Yugyeom replied, closing the bedroom door behind him and then gently resting Bambam down on their bed.

He went to pull away, but Bambam’s arms remained firmly around his neck. Yugyeom stayed leaning over him, using his arms to steady himself above his partner.  
“Are you sleeping now?” Bambam asked, finally able to open his other eye.  
Yugyeom couldn’t help but smile. “Straight after a shower, yes.”  
Bambam let a small giggle. “I can come?”  
“No, because you’re tired and it’s not the time for the stuff like that, is it?”  
Bambam clumsily shrugged. “It’s always the time in my books.”

Yugyeom shook his head, placing a quick kiss on the man’s lips, then unhooking his arms. “Go to sleep, you bozo.”  
“Fine.” The gamer huffed and rolled over, crossing his arms like a child as he shut his eyes once more.  
“Oh my god.” Yugyeom pulled the blanket that he was sleeping on top of from underneath him, then neatly threw it over the figure. He took his time to tuck every edge in, then placed a final kiss on Bambam’s forehead.  
“Goodnight.”

\--

Christmas morning came for them at about 11am, when Bambam finally woke up. Yugyeom had been awake for about half an hour beforehand but was happy to enjoy the sensation of his partner in his arms, face buried in the nook of his neck. Bambam let out a soft grunt when he finally woke up, stretching his legs out and slowly opening his eyes.

By the time they made it out of the room, dressed and ready to crack into anything that was wrapped, Youngjae and Mark had already set up breakfast with bonbons and ear-splitting carols. It was a good enough breakfast, considering the fact that Bambam could hardly eat due to his excitement. Yugyeom had bought him many gifts this year, and Bambam was used to receiving two normally; one from each of the other housemates- so when he saw several presents in Yugyeom’s arms, all labelled for him, it caused an uproar. As well as that, it told Bambam that he had to get his act together and find stuff for his boyfriend in return. For Yugyeom, it felt nice to be able to shop for someone again and spoil a person that he loved. He was half excited himself; if only to see Bambam’s reaction.

“How long have you guys been up for?” Yugyeom asked, scraping at the eggs on his plate.  
Mark glanced over at the time, tilting his head, but Youngjae was able to answer immediately. “Since 10:30. So not that long, but long enough to make breakfast. You guys got up at the perfect time really.” Youngjae nodded several times.  
“You would’ve been woken up anyway- this one’s stupid excited.” Mark poked his thumb at Youngjae, who had the decency to seem offended.  
“I would’ve let them sleep.”

Mark only had to raise a brow to prove Youngjae wrong. Mark hadn’t put any presents under the tree for Youngjae, except for one tiny envelope that would probably fit in the palm of his hand. Youngjae couldn’t understand it, and so had been eager to open it since he had seen it.  
“Are you seeing any family today?” Yugyeom further asked Mark, who nodded briefly.  
“After we finish gifts and stuff here, we’ll go to my parents house. Did you two want to come?” He replied.  
Bambam glanced at Yugyeom, who gauged his answer based off what he saw in the other man’s eyes. “No. We’ve got plans tonight anyway.” Yugyeom smiled back at Mark, who shrugged.

Bambam narrowed his eyes in suspicion at his boyfriend- what plans were those that he was talking about?

They finished breakfast and as the group moved to the tree which was now happily stacked with presents beneath and beside it. Yugyeom smiled at the sight, knowing that in about ten minutes or so, it would be empty and just like that, Christmas would be gone. He approached the tree and picked up a stack of presents, handing out one each to everyone, and then receiving a bunch in return.

It was nice, this sort of tight knit experience where the snow was lazily drifting down outside, and the heater was faintly buzzing overhead. The four were sitting cross-legged in a circle in front of the tree, focussing on their gifts.

Mark received a whole array presents from Youngjae, including new ties to suit his business clothes, a briefcase, sunglasses and some fragrance. He seemed mostly pumped about the work-related stuff but enjoyed everything else too. Yugyeom and Bambam got him some singlets, gloves and some cookware, as well as an apron for his time in the kitchen.

From Yugyeom and Bambam, Youngjae received a bunch of in-game currency to the game that they mainly played, new computer accessories and a few beanies to finish off the cold season. From Mark, he received one tiny envelope, which happened to be the highlight of the day.

“This is for you.” Mark offered the envelope to his husband, who looked at it curiously. Mark was one to spoil Youngjae normally, so it was strange to have something so small.  
He took it in his hands and carefully started to open it. Once he did, he peaked inside, causing everyone to lean forward on their seats just a tad more. He looked back up to Mark, confused.  
“A key?”  
Mark grinned, then rocked slightly on his heels. “There’s a photo in there too.”

So, he pulled out a polaroid photo, squinting as he tried to recognise what it was. He figured it out- it was a house. A small, well-looked after home with gardens out the front and a cute wooden fence. He looked from the key to the photo, then back at Mark with uncertainty.  
“Did you… buy a house?”  
Mark didn’t say anything for a moment, then nodded.

A stunned Youngjae looked from his husband to the other two on the couch who were both smiling ear to ear.  
“Wait- seriously-? What..” He started to tear up but before he could fully start crying, Mark pulled him into a hug.  
“I hope you like it. Since our wedding, I wanted to build a new life. I don’t like leaving those two behind but I really wanted to push in this direction. Are you okay?”  
Youngjae, meanwhile, was nodding his head as tears threatened him.  
“Thank you so much. That’s- an amazing present,” Youngjae murmured into Mark’s shoulder, “I love you.”

\--

Mark and Youngjae left mid afternoon after some lunch and the finishing up of the gift giving. It felt lonely without them, but Bambam was happy to just lay with his boyfriend on the couch, hot chocolate in hand whilst the heater drifted across them and their tangle of blankets.  
“Did you have a good Christmas?” Yugyeom asked, sipping from his drink like it were a delicacy. He wasn’t used to this sweet stuff, his coffee was normally relatively bitter.  
“Yeah,” Bambam replied simply for a moment, “I don’t know how to feel about Youngjae and Mark leaving. I won’t be able to steal rides anymore.”

Yugyeom laughed quietly, then they lapsed into silence. Bambam rested his head on the other’s shoulder, and in turn, Yugyeom put his head atop it all.  
“Will it be so bad?” The barista finally asked.

Bambam didn’t know how to respond to that. He wouldn’t have anyone to share his gaming office with, and they would have a whole empty bedroom. They could easily afford to continue living here, but it seemed like it would be a shadow of its former self. He would miss Youngjae definitely, and he wasn’t sure how or if he would cope with it. The other man was like his brother.

“You and I can be alone all the time,” Yugyeom spoke quieter, “would that be so bad?”  
Bambam hummed. “You’re at work a lot.”  
“Do you want me to cut down my shifts?”

Bambam finally pulled back from him, and turned to face him. “You wouldn’t want to do that. Your work is your life.”  
Yugyeom sighed, and followed the other man’s actions. He turned as well, so they were facing each other and able to have a proper engaged conversation. “I don’t mind. I want to be here for you. I don’t want you to be lonely or depressed without Youngjae, I want you to see it as an opportunity. Mark got them a house so they could start a new life. What about us?”  
Bambam went blank for a moment. Yugyeom was speaking slightly true- it wouldn’t be so bad to just be two together. The could adopt a cat and change the entire place to suit them. Bambam could even walk around naked. Not that that was a major aspect of positivity, it was just… there.

The gamer smiled slightly. “I think you’re right.”  
The barista smiled in return. “Even if I didn’t get less shifts, you could always come hang out in the coffee shop. Jaebum likes you.”  
“He does?”  
Yugyeom nodded confidently. “He likes anyone that spends money there. And you’re not just anyone. You’re my boyfriend. That counts for extra points.”

Bambam simply smiled. Things were changing in his life, but he wasn’t sure that it was exactly all bad. “Sure. Merry Christmas, Yugyeom, thanks for making my life better.”  
His boyfriend hummed, glancing down at his hot chocolate cup. “You too but, I get the feeling something is missing.”  
The gamer tilted his head, a hint of confusion in his eyes.  
“If you come to bed, I’ll show you.” Yugyeom hinted, and the gamer was able to catch on pretty much instantly.

Why not finish Christmas in the best way possible; with a bang.


End file.
